Tuesday, February 12, 2008
argh i hate today. i've never felt more outcasted than ever. i wished i could have stepped out of that place or at least make things better, but everything's pulling me back.and i went home with an empty stomach after 7-8hours of non-successful mugging but in reality, just to make the effort to see you that once. why is it that i feel the pain when i don't feel that important to you. why do i feel inferior in front of you just because i'm not the most important person of your life ? why don't i dare to stand close to you ? why do i feel like i have no right to take a step further ?
i think i'm flooded with inappropriate expectations. sounds like early childhood principles of classroom management huh. but then it happens on a grown up. i think i should stop using endearing addresses on others. cause after you shower someone with endearments for a period of time, you might just think that he/she is the special one, which in fact, was supposed to be a joke in between both of you.yeap i need to keep a distance, so that i can be single, and i can never be hurt by others, nor will i hurt anyone.but i really feel so sad now, i DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE !!! argh .... i'm so afraid can. to know that u might like someone who don't like you, it's terrible.from now on, i will brush off all silly thoughts of you, you refers to whoever i might be close to. no matter now or the future, i wanna be single, unless you convince me not to.i need a psychaitrist (don't know how to spell la) !!!i do not have my menses today, so i don't know why things turned out like that. but i could at least still smile and talk to people although it's like raining inside me. gosh i need to sleep.i wanna sleep away this terrible day.and the last thing, which many of the emo guys out there might be saying ...I HATE VALENTINE'S, cause i'm alone again, for the 17th time. life sucks, doesn't it ?
/10:43 PM
