Friday, November 30, 2007
i don't understand why people just can't keep to their promises.
feng kai was late for dinner, so i couldn't take my medicine on time, that is still a small thing. it's just dinner in school.
but someone else had even better things to do to me.
firstly, i was talked to like i'm someone important to him. is it or not, only he himself know, i don't know. the words speak, but the action doesn't.
you can say you miss me a million times but will just do nothing to prove. in fact, you do things that contradict your words.
yes you have an injury, you are tired, moodless or whatever. but can you ever spare a thought for me ?? i didn't skip school thinking that i'll meet you tonight as your workplace is close to my school. you never go work, fine, can meet you later.
don't wanna come school find me, fine, i go back hougang meet you. and mind you, i was carrying my heavy bag, my laptop and a tiger toy given by alisa. i was down with heavy flu, fever and sore throat. my classmates for the past few days could see how unwell i was. but i still went to meet you.
i said i miss you, i meant it, i went the extra mile to find more time for you. but how about you ?? you don't appreciate it at all. do you think i feel better than you ??? if i were the one with the injury, i will still go down no matter what, cause i really miss you.
for you ?? i don't know if you said you miss me too because i said it first. was it just to patronise me or what ???
have you ever felt so worthless that you aren't important enough for someone to just find the energy to come out to meet you ???
i'm trying to give in, food wise, location wise. i know you were nice to do the meet ups with my shopping sellers with me, i really appreciated it. but do you appreciate the effort of me, struggling to go school, and left my friends to meet you like 100miles away instead of slacking at mac donalds ??
i rushed down afraid that i might make you wait, but all i received was a msg from you saying that you are not coming anymore, without any rhyme or reason. i had sooooo many reasons not to meet you, but did i use them ??? if i try so hard, are you willing to ?? if not, then don't speak like you do. i hate it.
if i'm still not that important, just tell me so, don't lead me on. i don't need anyone to try liking me, i can live on my own. i once gave up, but the way you lead me back on this road gave me strength again, and now you are just trying to help me convince myself more that i'm not anyone to you.
can i still believe you ?? after countless times of cancellation of meetings. do you really miss me that much ?? or just a call from your god daughter's parents can make you forget everything you say ???
before you say anything, please think clearly, i don't like empty words.
i shall not put anyone as important in my heart anymore, for they do not comply with the rules of the heart.
i hate the way you are treating me.
i cry no more, for my heart is dead.
/10:09 PM
