Monday, November 19, 2007
i don't know this comes to me as good or bad news. i was too fluttered by this recent thing that i kind of forgot about the reality. i really hate national service, it's taking away so many important people from me.
good thing is, i'm informed early, so the feelings still can be pulled back. every pain or misery can be minimised.
bad thing, no matter how much feelings we have mutually, it just won't work. i think NS is a great big damn bad news to me. i never had a relationship with a guy in NS before cause i'm not the very type of girl who can tahan not seeing my loved one for like an eon. maybe i'll be able to do that if the love has builded up over a period of time. but for now, there might not even be a possibility of it happening, so what's the point of thinking or holding on ??
yeah it's really disappointing but there's nothing you can really do about it.
yeah it's saddening that i have to say this once again. maybe i just give up my faith on love, cause in this one year plus, none of my beliefs had worked.
it's so hard to being loved, or even loving someone. thou shall not love.
i'm so afraid of falling in love now, it kinda scares me already. i'm scared of feeling insecure, scared of being left alone, scared of being hurt. all that i can say is, though my heart is weak at its empty state, i might just keep it that way, because it hurts more the other way.
i hate those painful tears streaming down my cheeks, but there's no one to wipe them off for me.
/8:15 PM
