Tuesday, September 18, 2007
what should i say about today ?? it was okay, but bad at the end.
woke up very early, or rather i didn't sleep. packed stuff for rehearsal, and then doll-up abit. when i was about to finish, jing yi called. she just woke up so i took my time to prepare la.
met up at city hall then go mac for breakfast, joseph came rather late. talked to him about stuff. at that time i was still full of anticipation and happiness but now ... hais ...
went back to control station to meet NP choir, waited for very long. weather was damn damn hot. quarrelled abit with jia bao, over small small issues la. we both got bull-like temper =(
the rehearsal was ok, but it's tiring wearing heels the whole day. (i dolled up for nothing =( )
i'm a very bad teacher, i couldn't even handle 2 sections properly not to say 3. he helped us get in tune but in the end i also keep teaching the wrong things. i am stupid la.
many many announcements later on, bad ones, killing my feet while standing up and listening to them. cursed and swear. tml i gotta go back NP to see edward, thursday got practice then sunday perform but the ticket sales damn pathetic.
well ... the bad part comes then but i don't wish to say too much. those who know will know, those who don't will never find out. it's was just full of disappointment. my heart sank to the depth of misery once again. i felt very silly, very very dumb.
i couldn't help it, it was not as if i wanted it to be that way. after we parted, i couldn't control anymore. broke down on my own, went home alone cause i didn't wanna follow them for dinner. despite the fatigue and discomfort, i struggled towards it, but i got pushed away ...... i don't wanna try anymore, period.
maybe it's because of my past that make me so sensitive and emotional. if not i dunno why i feel so much about it. everything will be over in few days, i shall pack up my feelings and not drop a tear anymore. i know it's easier said than done but i will try.
i tried hard to make a smile,
for the last drop of my pride.
i know the days w/o you will be tough,
but i will just walk on, with me alone .........
maybe i like who ......
/10:16 PM
