Sunday, December 2, 2007
this is the second post about him, but i hope it's the last post. maybe after he goes into army, i will gradually erase off the memories i have of him. maybe i'll get a boyfriend whom i will marry in 3 years before he gets out of army. MAYBE.
i seriously don't know why i was so vulgar just now but i really felt like scolding him for no rhyme or reason.
i really feel betrayed and cheated of my feelings. like what my friend wanna tell him "get your feelings and heart cleared of the past before even spewing honey words out of your mouth." quite true. friend said maybe i can help him forget his past.
what bullshit man. he doesn't feel a nut peanut stupid thing for me. and yes, i only get to know until now, because his lies are too convincing.
then my friend asked me if i have fallen for his honeyed words or him.
i would say 40% for him, 60% honeyed words. so i guess it isn't that hard to forget afterall.
then friend told me it's not a problem with me but him. get him to straighten his thoughts and think what he wanna do then decide, which actually he already decided to give up on me.
cause i'm that lousy i know.i don't know how to do the above when it's he himself refusing to open his heart to everyone except for his perfect glass.
or rather, i don't wish to do it anymore because it will just seem like i'm desperate for him and i can't live without him. plus, i don't want to be reminded of the memories and he might not appreciate me buzzing around him.
so off he goes, and i make my own way out of his heart. i give up.
Last night when i closed my eyes, the first person i saw was you.
why did you cause such a big impact in my life?
/1:54 AM
