brand new

2008-07-07T06:48:00.001+08:00

HEYO U GUYS READING THIS OUT THERE !!!!!! :)

i might be moving back to blogger !!!

MIGHT might only lar ........................

LJ kinda abit not suitable for me LOL !!!

stay tuned to these two blogs, will make a decision real soon !! =p

2008-05-27T14:33:00.002+08:00

ok i've moved to livejournal, ironically when i say i wanna stop blogging right !!!!!! haha.

to address the rightfully innocent girl, this childish girl decided to fall into your trap to post another post :) YEAH I'M A BITCH whatever you might say, i will agree =)

webby: http://lethal-ant.livejournal.com

2008-05-26T02:47:00.005+08:00

i wanna close everything down. i don't wanna blog anymore.

after knowing the truth of everything and all, i really don't know how to react to the feeling of anger i never ever felt before. so immense that i feel like killing mangalpandey.

sorry to jian long that i wronged you *i hope you were telling the truth. and to the real mangalpandey, pls stop doing things that will make JL be accused and make him carry the blame for you, it's not fair. i don't know why you behave so differently virtually and in real life, i don't know why you wanna act like a hypocrite, but you just make people see the ugly side of a human when his behaviour is not at all expected.

it's better to be not that smart, than to actually be so immature to do things that will cause misunderstanding towards the person who you wanted to "stand up for". it's still better than being so two headed that when you see me, you smile smile and joke joke nicely cause your identity cannot be hidden. then after that hide your identity and do ridiculous things. so you can call me stupid or whatever, i don't mind, as it just reflects how ugly your personality can be.

side track abit, pls bear in mind your religion teachings, don't throw face pls. i can't believe u did it and i'm not gonna say more about you anymore.

as for jian long, now i only feel that it's totally my fault. even when my friends tell me it's partial, i really don't know how to blame you. you tell me to stop mentioning about our relationship, i know it's easier said than done. i don't know why it can be so easy for you to say that. but whatever it is, take it as you never ever loved me at all.

i feel very very hurt about things, and i know there's no one i can pour it all out to. i really wanna whack some thing until i feel nothing at all.

i wanna take a very long break so people, this blog will be closed in a week's time. unless i'm that lucky to have miracles happening to me.

goodbye people, i'm gone.

2008-05-26T00:59:00.002+08:00

ok after all the rantings, i feel damn stupid. why ? please read on .......................

165.21.154.69
165.21.154.70

the above ............ are two IP addresses, opps, maybe one. ok why am i so eng to blog about IP addresses ? because it is from the so called MANGALPANDEY. you know who you are.

i can't anyone so full of self belief and indulgence. don't tell me it's your neighbour or whoever, don't give me bullshit.

i think till now you still think i'm that stupid to be angry over a tagger who talks rot, and be angry without finding out who is it, but too bad, you underestimate my intelligence which is normal, with your standard of judgement which is i don't know what.

and i seriously think you will do this because you are MISTER FUCKING TAN JIAN LONG !!!!!!!

after loading the page 2398478959034503458902 milliseconds ago, i have totally made up my mind that you are not worth my memories at all.

and i believe after our breakup, in less than a month you will get a gf. and no need to guess who, i know that she's been waiting for very long, and perhaps she'll help you to hate me more so that you can forget me and love her more. innocent girl ? rubbish.

you totally force me to be so spiteful towards your despicable actions. and perhaps, i will always hate you too, for making things uglier than they were supposed to be.

bei bi xiao ren !!

2008-05-25T22:20:00.003+08:00

the more i read the post the more disappointed am i. the more i feel like crying, no i mean cursing.

it's totally so UNFAIR !!!

why some people can just be so deaf to what i obviously said very clear. always say i never give you choice, NO CHOICE MEH !!! or is you don't choose to use the choice. if you ownself want to pamper me, don't choose, then why blame me ?

if it's really only this time you object, does it mean i must accept ? so if say i agree with you 100times, then one day, i ask you to jump into a river and eat a fish before you come up, must you agree ?

i really never ever expected you to say all those that you have said, cause i always thought you treasured me and will remember the words i say and the promises you made.

now i don't know how to curb that immense disappointment that's threatening to unleash right into your face. i don't know why i start crying out of a sudden on bus. you are totally a stupid fool that makes my presence feel damn empty because apparently you couldn't remember important things i say. you will always remember the bad things that i do, so i'm really convinced that you don't love me at all.

i really don't know how to answer people who ask me what happened. because after reading your post, all that i can answer is that i'm a very bad gf. you never made me felt good about myself. when people ask i can only say, i'm demanding and unreasonable, i really have nothing to say to defend myself.

what have you done to me ?

am i really so bad to deserve this ?

i gave you shit, didn't you give me a fair share too ?

are you even trying to be fair to me ?

your birthday might be coming, but i'll just say it here that i'm gonna throw away your present, cause i don't feel like giving it to you anymore, nor do i feel like seeing it anymore.

YOU SUCK LIKE HELL !!!!!!!!!

me too .............

2008-05-25T10:07:00.002+08:00

yeah right dear, you are sucha poor thing.

in case you don't remember, your reply wasn't 1 or 2. but your reply was "aiya my house got keep so many pets before, no problem one la."

i even asked if your parents will mind, but all you said was that they wouldn't bother.

and it's not the issue about the hamsters but i think you should remember once when i told you i hate it when you agree to things but in the end cannot do it. that was about a month or so ago, i guess through this period you totally forgot.

and i also told you before if you don't want anything, don't have to act like you want, just tell me. it's not like no choice was given, but throughout this time you didn't choose to object. and gladly, you choose to object the promise you've made to me.

whatever shit that your love has not change i can tell you is bullshit lor. once your mum start nagging, it changes already, once i don't wanna bring those lil things back it change already. all of it has changed already, but because you are the one that change, you don't realise it. i guess it's a wrong choice that i made a month and a half ago, i should have seen it coming and not accept it with open arms.

so now i know, it isn't convenient for all 3 sick hamsters to stay in one house, i don't know what kind of logic is that. but i'm sure when i said that, all you thought of was your mum and that "is she trying to push everything to me?"

don't deny that, i can feel it totally from you. IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL YOU STILL LOVE ME? when there's only happiness you can share with me but not problems.

whatever it is, everything's over now. yes i'll be happier, i never even shed a tear, and i'll find a better guy. THANK YOU.

2008-05-23T00:03:00.066+08:00

sorry i'm late for a couple of hours because something happened just now. i broke up with my boyfriend, so whatever i've written as boyfriend in the early parts of the post please kindly ignore thanks.

i ALMOST blogged yesterday afternoon, yes almost !!

boyfriend called to say that another hamster fall sick also. yes i currently own three syrian hamsters, 2 boys and a girl. the girl fell really sick and we brought her to the vet. her medical fees is like much more expensive than human's one la. most of it come from the consultation fee which cost us $32.10 for listening to the doctor talk crap. what she say we totally know lor, then plus medicine, came up to about 50plus bucks.

and girl girl is very anti social one, so everytime have to force feed her medicine, my heart very pain =((( there are two types of medicine, they love the natural one but hate the artificial one. then the boy who fell sick damn cute !!! u force feed the gel inside then he will give u the children sulking face and slowly chew the gel HAHA !!! uber cute !!!

then yesterday i just took home the healthy one who will smell your hand while running on the wheel haha, he's the cutestestestest !!!!!!!!!!

ok now for the very very overdue photos =ppp don't get too overwhelmed by the flood of peaktures =)

this is taken like long long long long long ago at suki sushi. so long that i even forgot was it my mum or boyfriend that i went with.

next thing i'll be blogging about is me and boyfriend's 2nd monthsary which was like more than a week ago ? haha. he brought me to some hong kong restaurant located opposite bugis junction which has a decor that brings you back to the olden qing dynasty days LMAO !!!

the "oh-so-normal" menu

OBIANG RIGHT THE DESIGN lol !!!!

the antique antique table, nice ?

SEE !!! even the cutlery so gu dong haha, damn cute. guess what's inside the yellow thingy ?

CHILI !!!!!!!! wa so surprising =.=

look at the number of magazines and media they have been featured on.

was expecting very good food la. but just read on ..................

this was the appetizer which half turned off my appetite.

boyfriend's noodles which was cheap cheap but maggie maggie. very very maggie.

my korean whatever whatever cabbage roll noodles which tasted like tomato soup noodles. totally =.=

yes only this is nice that's why couldn't take before eating haha. it's not very very nice, it's just nice because it's red bean pancake =) and they actually serve the dessert together with main courses =(

this is darling's favourite but still very unpleasant to me. although the food was a mood spoiler, i guess i'm in too good a mood to be upset. boyfriend's sunflower trick really works =)))

come to think of it, our taste buds really quite differ. whatever he finds very nice, i find it very awful =xxx next time he's sure gonna die eating what i cook for him haha !!!

next up is photos from siti nadiah's birthday. i totally didn't know about it, felt so guilty. i got her a present two days later but till now still forget to pass it to her =.= forgetful la me !!!!!!

guess how many cameras were there ?

obviously two HAHA !!

two camera women =)

the three of them, i'm the camera woman this time =pppp

ok let's fast forward !!! to ................... MAYC tutorial LAST wednesday haha.

we were asked to do an artpiece on patterns. partner with khairunnadiah.

identify the patterns and tell me how many are there =)

two beautiful artists =)))

the other pair of artists, what's artist michele doing ?

there she goes again haha.

funniest workpiece of all HAHAHA !!!

with philip's funky fish dance, the whole tutorial was made very very funny and interesting haha. i love his lessons =)))

as compared to the other MAYC lecturer =.= is sian until i lazy to copy lor, straight away take photo haha.

thursday's DLE tutorial, our floor plan =ppp i really think i have what it makes to become an architecture you know =ppp WAHAHA EARN BIG BUCKS !!!!!!!!

i don't know where this photo came from but i know i must have felt super hungry at that time haha !!!

ok this is last friday after school volunteering to help myanmar victims. who never donate huh !!!!!!!!!!!!

our lecturer was damn nice to give us 2bucks each lor haha.

after school i went to find boyfriend at NYP. went to the newly opened nihon mura which is also under suki group la. i totally love the lobster mentai there !!!!!!!!!! should go try if you've never eaten it before.

but the waiter and waitresses there quite noob haha !!! xiang dang nian ................... =xxx

ebi fry maki only for 99 cents !!!!!!

sashimi ~~~~ <3<3

THERE !!! THE BABY LOBSTERS EATEN BY ME =PPP

the very very salty shitake mushroom haha.

that's my disgusting boyfriend's expression when i helped him wipe his face. he baby, don't know how to clean up haha.

PAUSED !!!!!!!

the only brown face and most ka jiao hamster of the three.

his brother, very aggressive yet submissive when force fed.

both of them about to fight. brown face snooping around waiting to ka jiao him =.=

pushed him out and snatch his food. see la, going to fight.

FIGHT !!!!

NOW FOR THE GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!

SUPER ANTI SOCIAL and scared of humans. gosh dunno what syrian hamsters all like that. she damn poor thing lor hais, wanna help her also cannot.

her drinking water, cute ?

her xiao pipi LOL !!!

the whole week was kinda jap food rush cause the very next day, my relatives suggested a buffet at balestier which i heavily suspected was sakura. mummy die die say it's not, but when i went over after job training, indeed it was =.= act smart only mummy haha.

SASHIMI CLEARED !!!!!!!!!

but as you scroll down, you'll see that alot of food we can't finish de. ordered damn alot can !!!!!!!!!!!!

who see this photo still got appetite you tell me ? =ppp

walked around then bought "881" and "P.S i love you". i guess i need to buy "lao shi jia lao da" since i broke off with him, i'm not gonna take any other thing from him already.

next day had project. it's vesak day yet the school's so crowded and noisy. construction works was going on at convention center so we chose canteen 1 though the band was playing a distance away. but it's was super hot. everybody was like having heatstroke, lotsa madness. let pictures tell you more =ppp

where got people do project do until can laugh until like that HAHA !!!

see !!! mood swing already haha.

on the way home. i like this view =)

few days later i met him as i needed to bring girl girl to doctor and then go for another training. after that dined at asian kitchen vivocity. yes i'm a bad gf who spends alot of money. bad luck for him.

i wish you would smile like this again, but it's never gonna be the same anymore.

my surprisingly plain bowl of la mian, wanted to help him save money, guess he doesn't know.

his plain fried egg rice, save money too.

side dish: four season beans with prawn.

yes if i wanna help him save money i should change my expensive taste buds abit. i was thinking that i will make ASIAN kitchen my last restaurant meal with him, but none of us expect it to be the last meal together.

but i don't know how to live with someone who has faded feelings and reluctantness to love me anymore. someone who will never remember his promises to me anymore. perhaps i'm boring, demanding and hard to please, but i guess to you now, i'm not worth doing those things as compared to last time.

i can see it through your eyes, and it's very painful to realize this fact. i should never have given us a last chance. sorry for the trouble i might have cause between your mum and you. i'll leave you alone, from now and forever.

the last night together. memories of you and me.

i was trying to stay positive throughout my post, i hope i succeed. but i'm not okay anymore, please tolerate my absence from blogging. sorry readers.

2008-05-20T10:00:00.002+08:00

i really so feel like doing a decent post now. lecture is uber boring can !!!!!!! i used to love financial management until recently i realised that i can't link everything up together, nor can i do a simple question thrown at me, goodness gracious me !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't do up a decent post cause i didn't bring my USB transfer cable !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who can entertain me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*off to msn with kian siong =ppp TALK TO ME !!!!!!!

2008-05-18T01:16:00.002+08:00

awwwwwwwwww ........ very very sad to say, i've to break my promise again =xxx no wonder no one reads my blog LOL !!! cause pris jio-ed me for MAHJONG !!! =)))

wahahaha, most prob my last mahjong session before work starts unless anyone is free to play on thursday or friday. but most prob i might leave at least one day for assignments ba.

hopefully will win some money after losing for the past few rounds, but hard to say la. i so down on luck recently and got pris this ka, most of the time high on luck one LMAO !!!

cannot pray hard for this, gambling is not encouraged =) just being so random cause i'm waiting for my nail polish to dry WAHAHAHA !!! short post to compensate for the broken promise, guilty =xxx haha.

ciao !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-15T20:52:00.002+08:00

wa lao eh, blog hits lower and lower =( got advertisement then no one come, no advertisement blog hits sky high, DON'T LIKE THAT LEH !!!!!!!

i really got damn alot of assignments to do, not that i duwan to blog. you all everyday yi si yi si come one time la, ok ?? hehe =p

will be back with peaktures on saturday or sunday =) stay tuned !!!

2nd advertisement on the week after next, do visit me often =)

2008-05-13T10:03:00.007+08:00

AHA !!! I LOVE KHAIRUNNADIAH !!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

she actually solved my problem of not being able to run google problems =))) YAY !!! she totally rock my world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on a more serious note, here's something which i promised jasper. though it's like making a mountain out of a molehill, i still have to say it. there was this JaSpEr guy who imitated my friend the real JaSpEr and said things like bunk and gays of FFs which i totally don't understand. so i'm here to say FUCK YOU !!! i super detest people who are impostors without a real identity. may ants bite you to death, but i'll feel sorry for the ants instead cause they just ate something dirty =.= i even feel disgusted having to mention him in my blog, BLEAHS !!!!! pui !!!!!

FULLSTOP.

on a very much lighter note, i wish to say that my boyfriend doesn't know how to blog !!! he just lump the whole bunch of photos of DIFFERENT dates together and anyhow caption LOL !!! spoil my readership LMAO !!! cannot even rotate the photos for me haha. lazy bum, but i love you anyway =)

why can look this size in mirror but not real life =( not very slim in mirror i know, but already considered very good for me le lo.

jing acting street wise, looking for palawan beach on the map to TEACH us haha, but ..................

the sign was RIGHT in front of us LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

acting mickey mouse =pppp

to end of the post, HAPPY 2 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY BOY =)

2008-05-13T01:09:00.013+08:00

hey people!
i'm no one else but jian long!
who is wondering who the hell is jian long huh!?!?
am i not that famous? grrr...
ok why am i blogging here...
my darling's poor laptop is sick.
got some irritating, infuriating, imbecile, incorrigible and idiotic bugs call the virus crawled in and eat away her blogger in her lappy.
so now i'm sent here.
as for todays post, there will be loads of pictures.
too much bullshit. time for pictures!

my dear says i must post some ugly pics of myself first.
jolynn: LOOK AT MY UGLY BF! HAHAHAHA

what a bad start off.
this 3 pics really turn people off.
don't close this web page yet... there's nicer pics below.
i know i'm ugly.

so what happens when a girl gets too bored in class?

you'll get pictures.

mouse i bought for my dear dear.

BUT! the mouse says, 'your boyfriend bought me this mouse'.
so who's my girlfriend?!?!

whatever it is DO LOOK AT THE NAILS!

the nails are not there for nothing.

i'll ask on jolynn's behalf.

'NICE MA? LOL'

JOLYNN TOOK PICTURE OF OTHER GUYS!

SHE SAYS HE IS HANDSOME!

THATS REAL BAD!

grrr...

so many pictures! i'm seeing stars!

not done yet...

jolynn's aunt new born!

congrats congrats! baby boy!

have you seen a winner, or a money eater?

totally no idea what this 2 pictures is all about.

but the last one is definately interesting.

what a face!

dear posing. buy or not buy. hmmm...

haiya don't buy la.

save money!

sentosa pics up next.

i'm fainting soon! so many pics!

Took 2hours to post this. miss out some pics!

hees! enough! goodnight!

2008-05-06T23:10:00.001+08:00

before the day ends ..............................

HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRISCILLA !!!

she's my mahjong kaki la haha. my all time favourite one, cause we let guys sit SAMPAN lmao !!! i can let you win another round of mahjong as your birthday present ok ? LMAO !!! just kidding !!!

happy birthday to you =)

2008-05-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

past few days was a breeze, because i seem to be quite oblivious to my surroundings. i can just roam around for nothing. stay back in school till late just surfing the net and watching DVD from lappy, doing whatever i can do at home. can find my comfort zone almost everywhere, feels as if i don't have a home. when i reach home i feel very vexed cause it isn't the way i want it to be, yet i don't have to mood to change anything at all.

it feels super irritating when you see alot of announcements at your school webby, indicating you gotta do this you gotta do that, yet you can't remember what you have to do. it's like you have a pile of work to be due quite soon and yet you are doing nothing, and nothing's happening at all. i guess our holiday blues are not over yet.

so you can see my blog posts getting wordier and wordier. not that i don't have any pictures to post, but i'm just plainly lazy la. nothing's interesting in my life having my mother to yack about nonsensical things the moment i step my foot into the house, my son msg-ing that he doesn't know what to buy in taiwan for me.

on a lighter and much happier note, my aunt has given birth to a baby boy =) 2.9kg, on the 29th april approaching midnight, so i told my uncle that if he was born a few minutes later, i don't dote on him already cause it's like 30th april LOL !!!

the mother didn't go for ultra scan cause she wanted it to be a surprise, everyone guessed that it was a girl, but i guess boy =) it's her second baby boy la. the first one nipples is pointed one, and her tummy also quite sharp, so i guess is boy HAHA !!! and the genius, who is me, WON !!! 10bucks from everyone HAHA !! when there's only three la LMAO !!!

ok shall put a fullstop here =) go and figure out what i have to do *rolls eyes*

2008-05-02T00:22:00.002+08:00

i'm just gonna keep this all inside. i never expected to feel so depressed even after 2 years. why is it the same date ? why is it the same restaurant diff outlet but same food ? why is that all the things i'm doing is so similar to what you are doing, yet i'm not the one by your side ?

it's should have been 2 years, but now you're with your girl.

it sucks to be me.
what a failure, period.

2008-05-01T14:16:00.000+08:00

i wanna keep everything to myself.

I REALLY HATE APRIL THE 3OTH !!!!

2008-04-28T02:44:00.002+08:00

i swear i have the stupidest yet most lovable boyfriend on earth !!!!!!!!

knowing that i'm like chionging homework like there's no tomorrow now, he still can complain i never blog !!! ta ma de !!! torturous to have such boyfriend. DUMP you the you know HAHA !!!

sorry guys, i'm like rather lazy to reply tags by clicking to individual pages. i really hate school now, like every week also have to do the same old tedious bloody homework.

first is summarize what specials needs, now is literacy and cognitive development. so the factors to such development are like totally the same ?? since year 1 until now like majiam every assignment writing the same thing, BUAY SIAN AR !!!!!!!!!!!!! all so bloody similar, which module is which i also don't know la !!!!!!!!!!!!!

the motor racings like downstairs my house that road is bloody getting on my nerves !!! *hope all your tyres LAO GAS !!! knn !!! *oops*

ok this is abrupt, i'm gonna get my ass back to work before i get distracted again =.=

BYE my martian boyfriend !!!

2008-04-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

74 words

Speed test

siao one i don't know how belle managed to get 95words a minute !!! *faints*

2008-04-22T10:28:00.002+08:00

i love my stupid boyfriend =)

2008-04-21T15:20:00.002+08:00

i've got this very fierce lecturer who gave us notes to print out but i forgot. so during the toilet break of the previous lecture i went out to print the handouts. i went to the most notorious printing shop in school, no choice la only got 5minutes.

and super duber FUCK lor !!!

when i reach there the monitor was like on sleeping mode but no matter what i press or shake, the screen is just black out one. even i restart the monitor or CPU also no reaction. so i told the auntie and that fucked up woman say "don't know then don't do la, got problem then don't print."

like WTF !!!!!!!!! then you open shop for what, close shop la, with your super uber lousy computer, u can earn any money meh ?? fucker bitch !!! if i'm not in a rush i won't even patronise your bloody small and lousy shop selling lau hong and expired biscuits lor !!! fucker you !!!!!!!

bloody pissed. how !! i have no notes !!!

2008-04-18T11:09:00.006+08:00

past few day was H-O-R-R-E-N-D-O-U-S FOR ME !!

was sick all thanks to bbf who spread his stupid virus to me. all the sticky mucus you blow out from your nose, EEKS !!! and yes, even the pleghm comes out of the freaking same hole !!! =.=

thanks eh dear, you made my life a lil more colourful LOL !!!

it was the start of a new semester this recent monday, super dry and boring but probably manageable. *only if my sales rep stop asking me to keep my target consistent =o*

had only 2 hours of lesson yesterday, so after that i went to NYP to find bbf instead of going home to sleep. what a good gf =p

so he and his brother got themselves a compaq laptop which has a webcam, so i think you can guess from there ..........

i took one pathetic decent picture and i realised how much i hate it when bbf's around when i'm taking photos !!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't like to take photos with you la !!!!!!!!!!!!

LUCKY i turn away in time =.=

even more zi lian than me !!! play also wanna look at camera !!!

ok i can't explain why i did that =.= i was poisoned by coke zero ?

digress abit ..... recently i'm quite addicted to coke zero really. not that i must drink it everyday but when i have to decide what to drink in let's say .... a coffeeshop, 80% of the time, it will be coke zero. i like the medicine taste of it =xxxxxxxxx haha psychotic eh ?

*i think bbf just possessed me with his soul, usually i'm not like that you know ?

*ahems*

ok la see he so ke lian, take one nicer one with him la haha.

haha !!!! me and coke zero =)

yesterday was a happy day but not today. though morning lesson was interesting, but i feel bad for being late for half an hour !!!

another thing is, i hope somebody really means his words and keep to his promises. if not i promise you i'll get fucking pissed, even more than what i'm feeling now.

GOODBYE !!!

2008-04-13T11:33:00.002+08:00

i'm still here happily finishing my bowl of chapalang noodles =p very very late late for work !!! haha. so sian can !!! sch reopening leh =( no more sleeping at 7am =( maybe on the bus or in lectures ar =xxx

i feel like studying hard this year, but that's what i always say at the beginning of semesters, but never never acheived =xxx

anywat point of the day is .............

HAPPY MONTHSARY BABY =)

i may not feel very blessed, but i'll try my best to love you and be happy.

we still have about half a month's time.

2008-04-10T19:14:00.003+08:00

life's okay ?? haha.

have been watching too much dramas till i get kinda separated from reality =.= school's reopening !!! i get so excited just looking at my timetable *rolls eyes*

how to wake up so early when i'm like sleeping from 7-7 everyday ? if you are thinking 7pm to 7am, then you are totally wrong !!!

i just woke up not long ago, with all my day wasted on sleeping =.= yet to pack my room, collect my parcel at singpost, ALOT ALOT that i nv remember i should do.

i would say that my life is a lil bit in a kind of mess now, but don't worry, i'll fix it =)

gonna change job perhaps pretty soon if i can find the lobang. a lil worried about it =(

okok enough of complaints. i shall end my post with one of my greatest acheivement this few weeks. i never played any mahjong, and i felt nothing !! perhaps not addicted anymore HAHA !!! no 4D, no TOTO !!! =)))

lastly, i really love my blog song now. don't you too ? =p

2008-04-08T17:32:00.004+08:00

it was a heart wrenching moment for me minutes ago. yes he used the word "whatever" to me.

i'm half happy half sad because all the while he treats me so good and never get angry with me for anything even though i get overboard sometimes. now that he's finally angry abt me letting him down, i feel better than having him to feel that he's not done enough.

i really hate that word, cause it just signifies someone not giving a damn nor any respect to a certain matter or person anymore, in a very rude manner.

but the second he used that word, i swear i felt relieved.

jolynn, you dumbass. you officially drove everyone away from you. no more love, no more anything =) he hates you, yeah !!

死了都要爱 by 信乐团

死了都要爱
不淋漓尽致不痛快
感情多深只有这样
才足够表白

死了都要爱
不哭到微笑不痛快
宇宙毁灭心还在

把每天当成是末日来相爱
一分一秒都美到泪水掉下来
不理会别人是看好或看坏
只要你勇敢跟我来

爱不用刻意安排
凭感觉去亲吻相拥就会很愉快
享受现在别一开怀就怕受伤害
许多奇迹我们相信才会存在

死了都要爱
不淋漓尽致不痛快
感情多深只有这样
才足够表白

死了都要爱
不哭到微笑不痛快
宇宙毁灭心还在

穷途末路都要爱
不极度浪漫不痛快
发会雪白土会掩埋
思念不腐坏
到绝路都要爱
不天荒地老不痛快
不怕热爱变火海
爱到沸腾才精采

2008-04-08T03:13:00.001+08:00

2008-04-08T00:35:00.012+08:00

yeah, i'm here because nuffnang was here to drop me a wake up call. incomin advertisement =.= that's why i blog lor, but seriously, how much can u earn from it.

life sucks for me now. i like to work and earn money so much that i've forgotten that school's starting soon. it feels like i've graudated and stepped into the working society already lor.

so finally some pictures on my blog instead of the words, words and words.

nopes i'm not paid to do this ...............

was there to see bird fly =.=

this picture is nice, but ruined by the cloud that overlapped my face =.=

*it's joe's head at the right side =)

so being the usual zi lian de me, i've tried photo editting on my phone on the days when i lazed in bed and refuse to get outta it.

this is the original one.

the rest of it i tried to rotate but just will turn back unlike the original one.

help me vote see which one is the best ok ?

personally i think all equally nice. the third one is actually the first photo of this post, something cock up in blogger la =xxx idiot !!!

how ???? so far so good ? who wanna edit photos ? 2 bucks for one photo =)

last but not least, demanded by mr tan jian long monkey, here are all his ugly peektures =p

LAO AH PEK SHIRT !!! HAHA !!! fish & co. =)

NAH !!! YOUR CR35 PHOTO =P

2008-04-01T15:58:00.001+08:00

the joke of april's fool came too early this year god ..................

2008-04-01T14:34:00.001+08:00

how do I
get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be

Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh Baby,
I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

Please tell me baby
How do I go on
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive

How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

how do I live without you
how do I live without you baby
how do I live....

2008-03-31T04:33:00.002+08:00

i hope everything ends so soon, i hope my heart will give me an answer.

it was beautiful memories but not what i call "love".

though i love you, but i'm pretty much sure that you have an infatuation.

it hurts so in our hearts but i no longer dare to love you anymore.

is there anyone who can tell or prove to me what's gonna be like with the both of us still tgt in future ?

is the risk gonna be worth it ?

you made me try to believe in love for the last time but .................................

now i don't anymore. what should i do ?

2008-03-31T00:29:00.001+08:00

why am i so dumb to torture myself cause of you ?
i really hope i can faint again so that there's an hour in my day that i don't have to feel miserable.
i feel so unblessed at the moment.

ARGH WHATEVER !!!

2008-03-28T08:49:00.002+08:00

it was a sleepless night .... thinking of what i really can give you.
what i wanna give you was taken away two years ago, how can i get it back ?
i didn't much dare to fall in love till now, but i have nothing to offer at all.

can you not love me ?
cause i really don't know how to love you anymore.

jason *** why do you have to do that to me ? can you see how you have scarred my life ? i don't wanna miss you anymore, cause i kinda hate ya.

i just hope this roadshow ends soon. i don't think i can put on a strong front for so long. i wish it's gonna be over soon, and i'm gonna take a long sleep and then everything'll be ok.

i wish ........

2008-03-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

the little difference might seem small to you but big to me. just felt that you didn't bother to care that much for saying anything to me anymore. well, i wouldn't wanna control how you think.

it's no use saying all this now, to you it's nonsense, to me it is too, cause we never seem to see the same way. if you think it's over exaggerated, it is not, because you are not the one being arrowed first without much consideration.

well, the fact that it's over, i won't wanna think about it anymore.

OK !!! so guys !!! what have you all been doing ?? this is my third day working full shift, not dead beat yet, but just lack of sleep. the weekend was GREAT !!! sold my first colour laser printer ever on saturday ("snatched" sales from boyfriend haha, no la, is psycho away from hsi rband ahha), and then the second one on sunday which was also my first colour laser all-in-one printer =)))) double happiness la haha.

i would not have sold the all-in-one if i chose to be lazy that day. i was initially quite lethargic but then keep helping the cashier until micheal face black haha. then help this help that, do everything except selling printers until this customer came at 9pm which was already my knock off time. was settling two customers, one for the printer and one with cashier problems at the same time. both just as ma fan, was really a challenge for me to switc topics both side haha.

cashier malay ma, but the family don't speak eng at all so have to help lor. then my supervisors and managers also got alot problems wit other customers, super busy la. poor boyfriend had to wait for me oh-so-long can. poor bb. our initial plan to drop down QQrice for a rice ball and some of its yummy pudding was thwarted haha. i dunno what vocab i'm using, but you get the idea la huh.

but today he made me ever happy la haha. was happening to miss him more than usual today. knowing that i was freezing at IMM, he bought a puma jacket for me, but i'm quite fussy la. through sms keep saying this colour not nice that colour not nice, in the end he got pink i also say not nice =xxxx LOL !!! what a bad gf you have.

one more thing !!! just one more thing !!! be patient la ...... i know very wordy this post haha !!!

darling remembers that i like century egg in my porridge so he added some into the fish porridge we're gonna share. i was like stirring the porridge sulking at the fried onions (haha he forgot i don't like it.) then i saw ............. eh how come got century egg ar, then my darling boy proudly exclaimed that not all things he forgot one ok HAHA !!! so cute.

cause normally he's damn damn blur one i tell u, buy potato chips also can put at table forget take. maybe next time he will forget me and leave me with another man in a hotel room haha !!! JUST VERY KIDDING OK !!!

ok la, i know your eyes are complaining .....

soooooo .... THE END =p

2008-03-22T04:05:00.005+08:00

something really sad happened.

i just realise how authority can separate the distances between two friends. we weren't very very close friends, but close enough not to be offended when point of views are shared honestly. but after that very date, i felt that my "friends" seem to have put up a wall between me and them, i no longer understand them anymore. they seem to keep everything to themselves, the joy, the happiness.

i don't feel the belonging there anymore, and sometimes i do dread it when the schedule comes for me to meet them. cause i feel so left out, even as compared to people who just know them.

perhaps it is totally due to my irresponsibility, or rather inability to commit to a position among them, but i didn't do it for a reason that is for fun. i don't like people pushing me to do things that i can't.

the leader in my friend that i saw today, totally saddens me. the approach my dear friend took to solve this problem was to drive me to the wall, and not leaving me any leeway to this circumstance at all.

my bbf thinks that my leader friend is arrogant, perhaps due to what i say too rashly, but i know he's not. perhaps it's the stress of being a leader that forced him to be that harsh with me, but i seriously didn't feel the need to. i really don't understand my friends now, for they never told me anything at all. it's so diff between last year and this year.

how do you actually maintain friendships while keeping authority ? perhaps that is what the previous two leaders last year can answer, because i really admire them for doing suc a great job. i think even if i'm the leader, i will not be able to uphold the responsibility like how my friend is doing it now. but how can i make it up to my friend when he does not listen anymore ?

i feel really sorry not being able to help out at all, but it's a fact that it's an extra curricular activity. i joined not because i'm being paid to, because i want to. yes, but now i really need something that i can be paid to do so, do you really understand ?

it feels like all of you don't want me there anymore. if there's a need to ease this burden of me not turning up regularly, i can do so by leaving, not because i want to, but because i really can't commit 100%.

the way you solve your problem might be not totally right, but the fault still lies with me initially. though your sacarsm and harshness had hurt me, i still feel the need to apologise not only to you but all of you.

though it doesn't feel like we are friends anymore, but i just hope, i made life better for you by giving you less trouble this way.

you know who you are ............
if you read this, i'm here to tell you i'm sorry.

it seems like i've become a person whom can't do whatever she likes. nowdays i feel so controlled like i've lost my freedom. not to say being attached but also occupationally occupied. i dunno what that really means, but you get my idea la huh.

i hate to be this way, but to survive in this society, i just have to harden myself up and be damn damn realistic. i might sound so damn pissed off with my friend, but deep inside i didn't want to reject it at all. but i just have no choice.

why is working life so hateful now ???
can i like get money by sitting under a tree and looking in the sky ?

2008-03-21T00:06:00.003+08:00

it's really so annoying can.

don't want say don't want, don't this birthday that birthday. where got people father's birthday just get to know the day before one ? since you will reveal the truth like that, why don't you just say no ?

where got people's work schedule last minute then know one ? why don't you just say no ?

like that everyday my mum's birthday liao lor. i super super hate dishonest people can !!! make people happy awhile then throw them in disappointment at the last minute.

if they could kindly tell me no in the first place, i could have like planned other activities to entertain myself, now even if my bf (yes they are his friends.) is willing to accompany me go australia i also no mood to go can.

it's so freaking annoying !!
too bad jian long, it sucks to be you, having annoying friends and an unreasonable girlfriend. enjoy your life.

in a fucking bad mood ....................

2008-03-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

boohoo !!! i'm here to complain, SERIOUSLY complain !!!

MY BOYFRIEND DOESN'T REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY !!!!!

so my son, or father, sister, mother whoever la !!! wo men shang ar !!! da si ta !!! =ppp

2008-03-20T17:33:00.002+08:00

uh huh !!! yes new blogskin cause the previous one cannot put advertisement then everyday the hits i see at nuffnang is z-e-r-o, very saddening right, and also have to refresh the page to actually read the post again super duper ma fan.

but it seems like every blogskin has its own problem. this one gives a minor one as compared to the previous one. the picture of the girl's leg sure cut off. WHY ? die die duwan let her walk away right LMAO !!!

recently i'm starting to wonder what i really wanna do. is this the life i want ? but i can't talk it here. sighs.

yeah my posts are so wordy nowdays, cause when i put photos people say i zi lian, so ........................

i guess i shall just smoke myself to death =xx

2008-03-17T12:51:00.001+08:00

i guess it's quite clear what's happening in my life now. not very sure if it's the right path, but i'll just walk on and see.

for those of you who wonder, what's that banner in my previous post, it's actually a link to a site that pays you for taking surveys, it's like one of the best ones i've ever seen. it earns u money one zillion times faster than what u earn in nuffnang haha.

the wordings could not be read clearly cause i forgot how to change font colour in templates.

will be working at IMM for the whole of next week, mon to sun, 10am-10pm. under the same company, SONY VAIO. =) qing duo duo zhi chi ar !!!!!!!!!!! wanna get a vaio laptop, do look me up =)

2008-03-15T00:05:00.004+08:00

this is a simple way of thanking my readers for their support. it's quite easy money, do try it =)

2008-03-13T00:24:00.006+08:00

sitting by the window
Singing songs of love
Wishing you were here
Because the memory's not enough
Wear my mask in silence
Pretending i'm alright
If you could see then you would be
Here standing by my side

It may be hard to believe
But girl you're the only one i need
It may be hard along the way
It's this feeling i get
When blue skies turn to grey

Feels like i'm walking in the rain
I find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause i need you to give me some shelter
Cause i'm fading away
And baby, i'm walking in the rain

every single hour
Of every single day
I need to cry, my eyes are dry
I've cried my tears away
Can't help but remember
How you made me feel
You dressed my soul and made me whole
you made my life complete

It may be hard to believe
But girl you're the only one i need
It may be hard along the way
It's this feeling i get
When blue skies turn to grey

Feels like i'm walking in the rain
I find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause i need you to give me some shelter
Cause i'm fading away
And baby, i'm walking in the rain

of all we've said and done
Remains the memories of days
When life was fun
But now when you are gone
I sit alone to watch the
Setting of the sun

Feels like i'm walking in the rainI find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause i need you to give me some shelter
Cause i'm fading away
And baby, i'm walking in the rain

i said baby, i'm walking in the rain .....

RAAWWWWRRRR !!! yes i'm full of emo posts that's all. this is still gonna be the same, so don't read it if u don't wanna get annoyed.

yes today i was actually quite happy. thinking that things have taken a better turn. all to know that it was just receiving goodwill.

so may i ask ........

if someone likes u and treat u very good, but u don't like her at all, will u just accept it like u like her too, or let her know ?

so on the streets, people give u 10dollars u just take la is it. so when people say love u, u just marry them la. is that the way things work ?

if it is, please tell me, i'm more than willing to accept it. but the truth is, things will nv work that way. if u don't have love for me, please push me away. don't deceive me with your actions i totally hate it.

i feel like i'm a spare tyre in your life, just someone who loves u, not someone u wanna love. because u just keep hurting me over and over again. i am selfish, but if u love me, u will love my selfishness.

thoroughly disappointed. i REGRET letting u melt my heart months ago. yes, i'm so gonna make it hard again, nv to let anyone in before they manage to pluck out the pricks on it.

can i just hide under my blanket and never face the world anymore ?
if someone could just sleep the day away,
not being able to hear u crying out for him,
why do u bother to love him?

god, can u tell me why ?

2008-03-12T02:30:00.003+08:00

can't seem to slp early these days. though i only fell asleep at 8am yesterday but was bombarded by shaleihin on my phone. aiya still dunno how to spell his name, choir president la OK !!! haha. since yesterday he has been asking if i wanted to go out, perhaps because i was in a bad mood. but then was too tired, so i kind of rejected him =xxx sorry !!!

ray came for choir today =) YAY !!! i really hope he'll join us back and stay for good MUAHAHAHA !!! i totally love his voice esp when he's singing english songs, which i don't always listen to haha. he's my auntie rosie =)

though i'm a lone ranger and don't have a specific very close clique, i still love my choir peeps anyway =) the happiness we have together is not what everyone gets to experience, yeah so we shall treasure the time we have together.

second thing is that, i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to watch P.S i luv u, meet the spartans and leap years. but all of them are like going off screening now !!! waiting for many many VCDs to be out. hopefully i can like catch at least leap years before it's off and then buy VCDs for like alvin and the chipmunks, ah long pte ltd and P.S i luv u.

why nobody acc me watch =((( very sad ok !!!!!!!!

one last thing before i go and TRY to sleep. i'm having loads of hesitations now. it's deep within the affairs of the heart so perhaps i shouldn't be too annoying to make ppl read it and headache also. i'm just gonna keep this wall up, so that everyone will only feel my happiness but not my sorrows =) aiya, problems will be solved one day anyway =pp

always look on the bright side of life ~~~ tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu ~~~

i'm gonna be a happy girl ~~~

OK WAIT WAIT WAIT !!! something i MUST MUST MUST say hehe. i have a recent fetish to collect carebears. but then cine they sell carebears damn ex can !!!!

1) birthday bear
2) daydream bear
3) friend bear
4) funshine bear
5) good luck bear
6) harmony bear
7) hugs cub
8) love alot bear
9) secret bear
10) share bear
11) surprise bear
12) take care bear
13) true hear bear
14) wish bear

so you guys can just slowly buy one by one and prepare as my birthday gift right ? more than enough time =pppp

GOODNIGHT cuties !!!

2008-03-11T04:55:00.002+08:00

sighs ........ what a lonesome and chilly night. i can't believe i'm blogging right now instead of being soundly asleep. i wish i can be someone who can put things right behind me and sleep through the night. but i don't dare, for the nightmares haunt me like my own shadow.

i wish the tomorrow to be better, brighter, where i can see my future.

i've no plans for tomorrow or rather this whole week. perhaps will be going out with shar and ray if i can wake up on time. anyone wanna join for me retail therapy, feel free to give me a call =)))

i need some company. cause you walked away .........

2008-03-10T23:09:00.001+08:00

there's so much i wanna say but no one to listen and understand.
it's not like i can tell everyone you know.
you are all i wanna talk to, but we're gone now.
what can i say ..........

2008-03-10T21:40:00.003+08:00

i don't know why am i crying over this. but i'm not gonna make any initiative anymore.

NEVER NEVER anymore !!!!

i feel so stupid !!! ARGH !!!!!!!

don't most guys know that girls who act tough are actually those who get hurt the most easily ?

that explains why i don't wanna have a boyfriend, because they know it, but they just don't care.

i feel that this song is super nice now ='(

2008-03-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

ELLO EVERYONE !!!

PLEASE CLICK MY AD, THANK YOU !! =)

ok la, my blog already cold enough le, let's not make it colder. why this time the ad need to click ?? cause i'm in band zero already, for not blogging so long. so kind nuffnang came up with this idea so that people like me, jolynn stupid chew who have blogs in band zero can also receive ads and earn money. just that the advertisements need to be clicked on instead of just visiting the page.

so kind souls out there, do click every time you visit ok ??? =))) thankies !!!

INSIGHTS OF MY BUSY LIFE

well, i lead a pretty mundane life as many of you know. it's still the same old me and the same old life, with the exception of the upcoming IT show. it's the biggest show of the year "COMEX - THE IT SHOW".

woke up about 12-ish which was very late as i was supposed to arrive GREAT WORLD CITY at 2pm sharp. so i cabbed over but this stupid cabbie drove and 60km/hr and chatting with me at the same time despite my reminders to him that i was rushing for time. when i sound more impatient, then he increased the speed to 80km/hr, ON AN EXPRESSWAY =.= purposely take slowest lane somemore.

wa kao, cab fare already so expensive, yet slower or almost same time as public transport. still wanna chop people wallet. i wonder how can people rant on and on when obviously no one is interested in engaging in their conversation.

when i finally reached GREAT WORLD CITY, it was like 1.59pm la. *ok la, not so fake, 1.54pm* i'm supposed to rush up but then i was too famished that i went to yoshinoya for a damn quick lunch. 15mins to buy and eat up. WOW !!!

went up to office and saw micheal =xxx gave me that look, and tell me not to be late again, reason being, i was starting my late habit past few weekends. start to reveal my true self LOL !!!

sat down and saw on the white board ..........

2-3pm --> mass briefing
3-4pm --> linksys training
4-5pm --> vaio training

oohhh !!!! so i have 3-4pm to eat la, KAOS make me rush like that, thinking that i have to survive from 2-5pm without break. mass briefing ended damn early somemore. they went to kenny rogers for "lunch" as there wasn't much choice there at GREAT WORLD CITY. then i was already very full can =((( so i ate green tea ice-cream and potato salad which i can't even finish. the color of the potato makes it look like apple salad, that's why i was tempted to try thinking that it will taste very delicious. but erm well .............. not worth the money la. though it's damn filling.

training sucked abit but rocked alot. stupid marc la, talk so fast. before i could even flip to the page he was referring to, he already finish explaining it already. KAOS !!! i know he knows the product very well, but must consider in our shoes ma, we are new to it man.

when after that the dunno who take over then it was damn fun, but he's scary la will test people see if they really listen. cause promoters usually don't take the training easily one, just go to the show then start reading up. very impromtu one. but i wanna chiong sales so i listen, good student LMAO !!!

the target marc set was damn reasonable = 20sets per person at least.
but that dunno who = you can challenge me 60sets if you want to. i cleared 319sets before. KAOS =.= super hao lian la is it !!! LOL !!!

then i spotted someone there, which i have noticed for quite some time cause i've seen him before somewhere i couldn't remember. i think i'm getting quite interested in him =xxx

briefing ended at freaking 6pm la !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so cabbed over to ngee ann with winson. then he go there chg bus then chg train to woodlands =.= was very late for choir but everything still go quite smoothly.

friday they learning new song leh, but i haven't learn =((( and i not coming on friday somemore. D-I-E !!! still got dunno what chalet, so many activities !!!! ARGH !!!

slacked at alumni then take bus 74 back. the usual bunch =) but then i was like ranting to jing yi la. i dunno what to say but i just felt like talking =xxx so sorry jing for being damn random for the whole day man.

hiyah really too wordy le la.

in short ..............................

anyone wanna buy lappy, can find me at IT SHOW. or msg me beforehand so that i can look out for better deals for you.

p.s you can only buy vaio laptop though =p

but after the training, i'm finally convinced that vaio laptops are worth the money not only because of its design but the thoughts the engineers have for the consumers when brainstorming for the designs of the laptop.

it is to give customer their own sense of identity and being proud of their notebooks. to personalize it and make it value as one's personal item. and they are not a brand that cut prices and throw in free gifts to attract customers, because that will only make their products look unworthy of any money. so the promotions will always be constant. that's what i like =) no complaints of unfairness from customers.

YAY !!! i'm happy !!! with this, i end my post with .....

PLEASE BUY A SONY VAIO NOTEBOOK FROM ME =)))

2008-02-25T02:51:00.004+08:00

OMG !!! so long never blog, don't tell me i really lost interest in blogging eh. sorry to the i-don't-know-how-many readers. i'm just literally too lazy la.

esp when i have to work on weekends during my holidays when others are practically enjoying life. i get so tired that i don't even feel like hanging out on weekdays. i sound like such an old hag who lazes around at home all day. well it's better than being jasper =) attachment right away after 5 freaking exam papers. totally no holidays one can. if it's me i'll withdraw from the course right away LMAO !!!

yes yes yes, many of you know i work and i might seem a lil richer than before but what's the use, mommy and daddy doesn't not gimme anymore allowance so i'm like fighting for sales to survive and i just got ticked off by a smart alec customer today, *eff you !!!

then my friend told me, "ask him to come teach you how to sell printers la, see who can sell better lor." then all of a sudden, my weariness and unhappiness was washed away by a stupid smile haha. thanks friend, that's what i need, someone to be there and believe in me no matter what happens =) i knew it came right from your heart cause i can sense that you were angry with that fella even though i'm the one he told off. haha what cute friends i have.

one a lil saddening thing that i heard is about my parents which i shan't elaborate. not that i'm not given birth by my own mother but hiyah, it's a good yet erm .... i dunno bad news ?? there are some things which i can't bear to let go of.

*SIGHS* why does god create life in such a way that it's so hard even for just things to run smoothly and lead a simple life ? why is it so hard to survive ?

dear friends and readers, i've added a new simple friend test basically because my e-mail address is too long for the login ID blank so i had to create new test in order to get to the create account page which has a larger limit for word count so that i can log in. this was the way i used to log i last time, but now the system is abit different already.

why can't they just increase the limit by 1 freaking letter. i was about to type '' ...................@hotmail.co" then the bloody "m" cannot fit in =.= caused me so much trouble. so zhen kai should feel honoured that i'm doing this just to view his results LMAO !!

ok la, very lor sor. it's getting really late now and i gotta wake up early tomorrow. goodnight guys !!! wish you guys all the best in luck and whatever you might wanna do, i just hope for everyone to lead a good life and be happy. cause only by then, happiness can spread around =) GOODNIGHT !! *see goodnight also must type one whole stupid paragraph =xxx

2008-02-15T20:22:00.002+08:00

i'm fuming with anger now !! not exactly though, i just feel irritated the whole day. not just because i didn't do well for the paper. but also because my internet is like getting laggier by the day. can't upload photos cause the upload button can't work no matter how many times i refresh the page, so nvm.

didn't sleep for the whole of last night. being the usual last min gan jiong spider, i went to school around 7plus though jasper didn't sms me to wake me up. (i didn't sleep anyway.)

was expecting school to be ren shan ren hai, but was quite empty, so happily i went to buy newpaper and some stationeries, then settled myself on the benches at convention center. was going to start my mugging for exams when these two ladies or aunties came to my bench and sat down without asking.

preach to me about christianity. being a little more patient than before, i tried to listen instead of shooing them away la. but my decision was wrong, they got more and more overboard and started blabbering away. taking out don't know how many bibles for me to see but hold it far away till i can't even read it.

yeah i know christ is god, a very noble one. i was once a christian but i converted. i told them that i know what they are trying to tell me, but then religion wise i will leave it more or less flexible, plus i already hinted them that i will check it up if i want to and i do not appreciate people preaching in public grounds.

they say they WERE from ngee ann, so they came early in the morning just to disturb people from studying their exams ? if other days i will still entertain them, but HELLO !!! i'm having my exams a few hours later, can be more considerate anot ?? even michele who wasn't at convention center kanna lor.

was bloody pissed off until i had to really shoo them away with nasty words. ok to whoever who's christian reading this, i will like to make it clear that i'm not against any religion but i just don't like this happen. i respect every religion as it's own, but preaching like that seriously ain't gonna earn any respect for your own religion ya.

after they left i studied like mad, just to find out that out of the 7 chapters i covered, 3 came out, which was good. but then come out one all irrelevant to what's in her "notes" !!! everyone was like caught totally off guard because the questions and the strategies were something she didn't really cover in class !!!

of course pissed right. and of all good things, when i was walking outta school feeling rather glum already, the two AUNTIES appeared. and asked for my contacts so that they can meet me out to study bibles. like OMG !! how many times must i tell them that my house bai shen one, how to bring bible home !! plus i know what i wanna believe in, can't they just respect people's choice ??

i have many friends out there who wanna be a christian but can't find the way to, go look for those !! why pester me. in the end i really needed to threatened them of harassment before they reluctantly leave. apparently in the first place i shouldn't have acknowledged their presence. i already made it very obvious that i ain't interested in listening. while they were talking i was reading my papers. and their skin really thick enough lor !!!

what a bad day. sorry my christian friends, u know even normally i don't have an issue with believing different religions but those two aunties really tarnish the image of christians in me.

i just hope they will kindly leave the school and never come back again, hopefully i won't see them outside. we have christian clubs in school, let them do the job, not you. grrrrrrrrrrr !!!!!!!!!!

SO BLOODY IRRITATING !!!!!!!!

2008-02-15T02:36:00.001+08:00

HAHA !!! ok i changed song already. everytime see nice song always tempted to put it here haha. not racist or what la, i just find it very cute.

will be having my first and my last paper tomorrow, and guess what ?? i haven't really started mugging on it. haha wish me luck !!!

am going to gym after exams, hoho. so miracle right. so any of you who are free after exams can join me =) gimme a call !!! nights !!!

2008-02-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

argh i hate today. i've never felt more outcasted than ever. i wished i could have stepped out of that place or at least make things better, but everything's pulling me back.

and i went home with an empty stomach after 7-8hours of non-successful mugging but in reality, just to make the effort to see you that once. why is it that i feel the pain when i don't feel that important to you. why do i feel inferior in front of you just because i'm not the most important person of your life ? why don't i dare to stand close to you ? why do i feel like i have no right to take a step further ?

i think i'm flooded with inappropriate expectations. sounds like early childhood principles of classroom management huh. but then it happens on a grown up. i think i should stop using endearing addresses on others. cause after you shower someone with endearments for a period of time, you might just think that he/she is the special one, which in fact, was supposed to be a joke in between both of you.

yeap i need to keep a distance, so that i can be single, and i can never be hurt by others, nor will i hurt anyone.

but i really feel so sad now, i DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE !!! argh .... i'm so afraid can. to know that u might like someone who don't like you, it's terrible.

from now on, i will brush off all silly thoughts of you, you refers to whoever i might be close to. no matter now or the future, i wanna be single, unless you convince me not to.

i need a psychaitrist (don't know how to spell la) !!!

i do not have my menses today, so i don't know why things turned out like that. but i could at least still smile and talk to people although it's like raining inside me. gosh i need to sleep.

i wanna sleep away this terrible day.

and the last thing, which many of the emo guys out there might be saying ...

I HATE VALENTINE'S, cause i'm alone again, for the 17th time. life sucks, doesn't it ?

2008-02-12T19:45:00.000+08:00

i don't know to feel sad or to feel angry. why can't i be just as insensitive as others can be.

you have a friend, she has a boyfriend, but me ? no one.

i don't know why the sudden emotion that i'm left all alone, to travel a long journey home.

somehow my anticipation was washed off with your reluctance. but perhaps, it's me expecting too much again.

will the "he" ever appear ?
it's feels like the tears are gonna fall again.

2008-02-11T01:13:00.000+08:00

WAHAHA !!! changed blog song again !!! YES again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

very nice right !!! but very sad la. if this song was out about two years ago, it will be the perfect song to describe my feelings then. eeyer, don't talk about sad stuff haha.

it's been VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG since i've last do up a decent post. but then ..... all of a sudden, i dunno where to start from, so many things happened hmmmm .... and i was enjoying my non-blogging life =xxx

one thing terrible i can remember is when i was on my way home after a late night drink with my colleagues then i walked from the hougang interchange MRT exit there. it was damn dark and i couldn't see anything. then i somehow noticed a very big black patch on the pavement. so i moved aside so as not to step on it. as i got closer, i saw that it was a dead cat with a pool of blood there =.= i almost freaked out. how come my night blindness duwan to act up at that time !!!! grrrr !!!

second thing is .... i have a new bf. just kidding haha. but i've been chatting with jasper almost everyday, dunno he love me anot LOL !!! obviously i know he will read this so i must disturb him HAHA !!! do u love mee ?? how abt beehoon then ?? *so cold !!!!

P.S. er jie, he's not your bf jasper, so don't worry =)))

i really dunno what to say except, enjoy the song, happy new year and goodnight =)))

oh ya one more thing, I WANT MAHJONG !!!

CIAO !!

2008-02-04T03:38:00.000+08:00

OKOK !!! i know i VERY long never blog haha, don't kp me ok ? =)

i stumbled across someone's friendster and found this ancient song that i used to love.

depressing song right ?? at least it is from my part of memories and past experiences.

well i'm leading a depressing life ok !!! cause i have no sales today !! haha.

THE-END =x

2008-01-25T20:59:00.000+08:00

gosh i need some strength, to finish all the damn projects. losing motivation in everything.

i feel like quitting everything and doing what i wanna do. being in the comm used to matter alot to me, but not now i guess so. that's why i actually kinda made no effort to convince anyone what i can do.

why can't everything be simpler ? can i quit everything ? i'm tired .........

and i seriously dislike someone. =.=

2008-01-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

after not blogging for sooooooo soooooo long, i'm here to say something.

i really want the drama "gong zhu xiao mei" !!! but then the VCD i saw was about 30plus, not worth it for a VCD lo. KAOS !!! when will drop pricing ???

anyone wanna get it for me ? since i didn't really receive a christmas present.

puh-leassseeee !!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-14T14:25:00.000+08:00

dear readers ...

jolynn is so sorry for the long hiatus. but she's suspected of having paranoia due to overwhelming workload for the next two weeks. please pardon her lack of updates.

she'll be back after 4th of feb. meanwhile, please be patient as she takes her time to stand up from these obstacles. she made the wrong choice, and she can't manage everything now.

thanks for your understanding !!

2008-01-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

these few days are such a SHIT OK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i finally saw the true colors of people. someone whom i thought will never be so WHATEVER !!!!!!!!!

i don't want anybody to dictate my life ok, i don't live for anyone.

why does it seems like everytime when something's good gonna happen, something bad will come along, blowing it all away.

when one matter can literally be resolved that easily, it becomes so much more complicated that you can't move a step.

so ............

this is what you call FUCKSHIT LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

argh, so tired of everything. am i something for you to throw about ?? don't fucking plan anything behind my back, i'll make sure i hate you for life.

2008-01-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

omg, i've lost all the passion for blogging. no one cares if i don't update anyway. not in popular demand like xiaxue =p

so won't be blogging often, or even not at all if there's no ads >.<

for now ............ i'm just waiting for my ka-ching to arrive =) i LOVE MONEY !!!

2008-01-06T01:12:00.000+08:00

OK !!! i'm so not gonna do a complete post now. i'm VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY pissed off with no one but myself and blogger.com.

was supposed to finish blogging like 5mins ago but this damn blogger didn't publish my post KNN %$%$%^^&&(*()**(*()(*&&^%^%$%$^%$

i forgot what i wanna blog about already la ok !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so sick and tired of life. tomorrow's the last day of roadshow at bukit panjang plaza. target is to sell 7laptops or desktops. so any of you out there wanna buy come find me ok, i'll try my best to give you the best deals !!! support support ok !!!

there's a desktop going at 949bucks with 19inch LCD screen. free printer, speaker, internet security software and photo paper. can be further negotiated. there's also a laptop selling at 1050 bucks. interested please call me ok !!! don't know my number ?? too bad !!! find out haha.

i really don't wish to stress my life any further, it seems never unending lor. looking forward to the days when i can just stay at home and look after my family. nopes, i'm not wishing to be a tai tai. i just need my husband to be able to provide a comfortable life for our family, my own perspective of comfortable la, but definitely not millions of dollars la. will that day come ???

i think i was trying to relieve stress la, now i gotta go talk to god and ask him to save me.

CIAO EVERYONE !!!

2008-01-02T02:18:00.000+08:00

heh !!! my new year is cramped up with school and work. how interesting right. but no choice what, want money JIU SHI yao like that lor !!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, i have some advertisement for myself LOL !!!

i'll be working at bukit panjang plaza from 2nd to 6th jan.

2nd --> 3pm to 9pm
3rd and 4th --> 2pm to 9pm
5th and 6th --> 11am to 9pm

it's a roadshow selling desktops, laptops, mp3 and printers. need any of these ?? drop by !!! some desktops are selling at 999bucks only, laptops i heard, are selling at less than 2000bucks !!! those things are usually retailing at about 2000 or 3000 odd !!! can extend warranty or upgrade RAM also, but got additional charge la. but i'm sure it's much worth it to buy it from there, cause you have a beautiful friend like me working there =p

if you don't need to buy anything, come down find me for dinner or smoke break also can =)) first come first serve !!! dinner your treat ar !!! haven't get pay check LOL !!!

2008-01-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

what is the last thing u wanna get on new year ???

MENSES !!! OMG !!! hurts like hell can, total suay-ness.

went to the toilet, sit on the toiletbowl, fell asleep for awhile, then realise got no toilet paper =.=

no one was at home, but don't ask me how to crawled out of toilet in the end, i'm not gonna answer =(

what a way to start the year ..........

2007-12-31T20:42:00.000+08:00

hohoho, since everyone's talking about new year's resolution, so i guess i shouldn't leave myself out either. =) i don't wanna chase the things i've lost, nor do i wanna remember them.

1st simple wish
- to live in the present and not in the past =)

many have been telling me that i'm too fierce even though i don't talk. so .....

2nd simple wish
- try to be more friendly and make people feel welcomed =)

healthy lifestyle keeps you in shape. can guess already right.

3rd very difficult wish
- shed lotsa fats !!!!

other than random things, one has to be realistic in life, so this regards the most important things currently in my life.

4th mediocre wish
- to study hard, excel academically and also "businessly" meaning my work la haha.

one last "resolution" or rather wish i have for myself is ............

5th very very significant wish
- to find the mr. right i have been waiting for so long. =)

that's about it. as for mr. right, i guess it can't be forced haha. but i hope i'll meet the one soon =)))

a new year a new jolynn, of no past but only the present !!!

YAY !!! wish everyone here a very happy and prosperous new year !!! enjoy life dudes !!!!

2007-12-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

wa i super pissed !!!!!!!!!!!!! i look damn closely at the ticket, my mum never buy in =((((

that day after buying groceries i wanna buy de lor, then she say go home put things, later then she buy. then nv buy in KAOS !!! ask her buy early don't listen la, always gei kiang don't let me buy myself. my uncle already told her she no luck one, just don't listen. delude herself, delude me also =.=

WA I VERY PISSED OK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE'S GOES MY ELECTRIC KEYBOARD I'VE BEEN AIMING FOR !!!!!!!!! GRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-30T22:40:00.001+08:00

today was simply and overwhelming day. why work also can overwhelm me ??? read on la .... be patient LOL !!!!

best denki was quite empty from 12-3pm, to the extent where joe and i are falling asleep looking at those dead electronic stuff. then suddenly VROOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the whole area became damned crowded. lucky ar !!! i thought zero sales again.

managed to sell 3 printers, though commission not as much as the two printers i sold last week, it's still an acheivement to break my won record =))) actually could have more sales one, but the customers all wanna buy later, but promotion ends today. too bad >.<>

okok, don't lor sor already. what's really OVERWHELMING is that, i striked 4D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHA !!! just the starter numbers though.

few days back i was thinking whether wanna buy 2007 or 2008. so i bought both, then i think again, wanna just buy wednesday or buy all three days. of course i kiasu buy all la LOL !!!! i wanted to buy 2bucks for 2008 but end up split 1buck to 2007 also. end up i won with 2008 LOL !!! if i not so kiasu maybe now got 500bucks already LOL !!!

but anyway, i shan't be greedy. haha. my friend say god let u win so that it will cover your next week's pay LOL !!! majiam say like next week my customers will come when i'm not around, KNS !!! LOL !!!

YAY !!! i can get my keyboard then. WOOO HOOO !!!! you say overwhelming anot ?? i scream and shout in the storeroom until office can hear haha. u all might think i siao, 250bucks also must shout. but it's really the excitement more than the cash la. how many times in your life u can strike 4D ?? LOL !!! even if consolation prize 60bucks i also happy haha =)))

YAY !!! jolynn is damn damn happy haha. $$ka-ching$$ >.<

2007-12-30T00:06:00.000+08:00

WEE HEE HEE !!! =))) did you guys visit while i'm slogging my guts out at work xp LOL !!! can see i very happy hor ???

i received a compliment letter from customer =))))) !!!! hehe. he was just browsing then after i serve him and his wife la. then in the end they want my printer, but they still need 200plus bucks more de things cause they exchanging for some items ma. he's some big shot la i think haha. so i acc-ed him and his wifey walk around whole best denki area, see what they can get. but i don't know other product knowledge ma, just try lor. when i ask there de promoters for help they like no mood do work, then the man quite pissed.

then he got a vacuum cleaner, the promoter quite good la, must be gan jiong for sales like me. haha. spent about the whole hour, then he keep saying "you're good ar, seems like you are the only one working." then say want write recommendation letter for me blah blah blah.

then he got the letter from manager, which seems to be photocopied from some scrap paper lor =.= then he wrote very nice stuff and reading it out la, then i tell him, "it seems like i'm a student collecting report card haha."

he laughed like mad i tell you LOL !!! how come so nice de customer don't come everyday ar ?? LOL !!!

the manager dunno fold the paper put in his pocket, most probably don't care one la. i can see he got alot of ang kong under his shirt >.<>

but you know customer appreciate your service then jiu very very happy le =))))

that's why .....

i'm happy =))))))))) YAY !!!

cheerios !!! =ppp WEEEE~~~

2007-12-28T18:54:00.000+08:00

wa kao !!! how many time must i tell you ...............

I DON'T LIKE YOU ......... I DON'T LIKE YOU ............... I DDDDOOOONNNNN'TTTT LLLIIIKKKEEEE YYYOOOUUUUU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNN !!!!!

you better eff-ing stop pestering me lor !!! there's a limit to my patience ok !!! last time also is you say want break de, i still like you, then you wanna give it up.

now i don't like you. so i have NO need to accept you, don't say things like i very hard hearted or what to make me feel guilty ok. cause I AM NOT GUILTY AT ALL !!!!!

you ask me why i like this, CAUSE I AM LIKE THIS OK ??? once i give up on you, you gimme private jet or let me strike TOTO i also won't give a damn. i will just take the money and run !!! %$%^^&%&(*()*(

BETTER STOP PESTERING ME I TELL YOU !!!! NNBPCB !!!

as if that wasn't bad enough ..... today i quarrelled with mommy but things was ok later on. so we went home on a bus, and there's this two girls who got up the bus shortly after we did. one of them looked familiar, but i don't care la, very tired what. and they talk DAMN loud ok ! as if to show off to everyone like that, think like they very attractive.

girl 1 is the one i find familiar, girl 2 is the other one whom i dunno at all. both plump plump but wearing tight fit and very short pants =.= have their rebonded fringes that cover half their face like what xiao mei meis do. it's really straight straight flat flat on their face one ok LOL !!!!

girl 2: -said something about being ditched or what, very emo worzzzzzxxx.

aiya the typical break patch kind la. (they was conversing in chinese)

girl 1: aiya !!!!! don't give up the whole forest just for a tree la.

girl 2: yeah lor, heartless tree ....

girl 1: aiya useless tree la !!! in the patronising tone of voice.

girl 1: u have the whole forest like me, all the way to jurong and malaysia, they even need to swim over lor. (OMG !!! LIKE WTF !!!!!!!!!)

girl 2: yeah lor, go and find new 1 better. (she seems to listen to girl 1 alot.)

girl 1: - looks outta the window. EHHHH !!! you see !!! got yan dao !!! shuai leh !!!!!!!! (ERRR .................. =.=)

girl 2: yeah lor, man shuai de. but i still think my ex better.

girl 1: eh don't stupid la. - takes out her handphone and blasted "ai de zhu xuan lu" (yes that used to be my fav song la KAOS !!!)

girl 1: this my favourite song. (from that moment, i swear to stop listening to it.)

- both began singing outta tune ............ i really mean outta tune !! if only i recorded the whole conversation, i tell you, my blog will crashed man. if the notes go up higher, they sing it lower instead. eh, and it's not one octave lower ok =.= it's dunno what kind of notes lai de.

girl 1: - reads out some chinese message that she received.

both laughed like some crazy woman.

girl 1: this one my laogong send me one. (o.0 she got LAOGONG !!!) but alot people send me the same message leh, i don't like, so irritating. even got one dunno what number de keep msging me lor.

girl 2: really ar !!!! guy or girl ??

girl 1: guy la ...

girl 2: how you know ? you ask him ar ??

girl 1: never la siao !!! msg me until like that, sure guy one ma. (OMG !!! =.=)

girl 1: my dear dear very sweet one leh, everytime he meet me sure say i very pretty.

oh dear ........ what's becoming of the world man ??? lucky i find her familiar only ar, i don't know her man !!!!!!!!!!!!!! like trying so hard to act sweet and say until bf very sweet, trying to show off or flaunt whatever you have to the whole god damn bus is it ??? i bet is those type of guys desperate then bo bian one lor ... only they will think that he is good lo =.= NB !!! wanna show off, do it to your friend can liao, don't disturb people when they sleeping !!!! under si stand ???

gosh !!! why do i keep meeting the wrong and weird people recently ??? like everytime i take mrt or bus sure got one de lor. this morning's train got one lunatic stand in front of me and talked to me throughout the journey, i really don't know what to do ok =.=

after all this weird things happen, i suddenly had this very WEIRD urge to go cut my hair. yeah weird, cause i wanted to keep it long all the while. after i cut it, i feel like following alex's footsteps, go cut botak and acc him !!! LOL !!! actually not that bad la. NO PHOTOS =ppp

ok ....... below are some outdated pictures, due to my laziness, i'm finally uploading them now. good girl right ?? LOL !!!

on x'mas day =)))))))) unglam moments haha.

with darling grace and darling rachel =)))

the flowers =))) beautiful 4 colors. though he say 5 but i could only see 4, cause 2 of the 5 roses are of the same color >.<>

on my way to mahjong. guess where is this ???

and this is the chapalang soup i had for dinner. pathetic right LOL !!!

i'm getting so fat even if i don't eat =((( alex say i don't look like ah lian YAY !!! heard that ?? LOL !!! but he thinks i'm too rough for a girl >.< ok ="ppp

2007-12-27T22:45:00.001+08:00

You Act Like You Are 27 Years Old

You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life.
You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up.
The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

What Age Do You Act?

2007-12-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

wa kao eh ... i suspect i'm suffering from some terminal disease lor, just that no doctor to diagnose it only. grrr, stomach ache like mad, make me no mood to do anything.

today's a damn bad luck day can.

do project, almost finish the whole thing already then keep spoiling things. then we got sooooo damn frustrated that we cut out the nice nice parts see can paste on our new piece anot LOL !!! what a cheater man. where got people do art like that. thanks to my clumsy hands, sorry girls >.<

then i went home and cook my chapalang soup. prepare and cut everything already, realize at home no more campbell soup =.= have to go all the way down to mamashop across the road to buy. later kanna car bang =.= o.o just go down buy ice cream only lor, then have to make second trip again. waste my time LOL !!! also slack at home nothing to do.

i realize recently i quite tempted by the *ring ring ring* 1buck ice cream LOL !!! no wonder so fat.

this morning i woke up on time for project very surprisingly, then i walked to my room, and saw the flowers, i began smiling LOL !!! so pretty la, just that the wrapper is my most detested color LMAO !!!! but it's ok, look at the flowers ignore the wrapper lor haha. so thank you =) u know i like it haha.

am still so not in the mood to upload photos la, stomach damn pain. i know readership dropping, got advertisement must hardworking abit, but then bo bian ma, nuffnang pay so little only haha. if they gimme like one unique visit 10cents or at least 5cents, i might consider blogging harder haha.

ok gotta go find my articles to do GISP, others already sent it to the lecturer a month ago, i haven't start finding it =.= die la. so gooda bye !!! =(

2007-12-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

sighs, my stomach hurt like mad !!! damn it !!! don't know what's happening to me this few days lor. maybe i'm dying soon >.<

ok enough of that. i really hate my life now, very god damn lifeless. never slept past 11am for this term break, so unlike me can. everyday wake up, first three things i will think of is .....

1) today need to do project anot ?
2) today got work ?
3) need to go office ?

so damn lifeless la. i'm so busy that i have to plan everything, which day to do what, no freestyle for me anymore. i don't like an orderly life =xxx

christmas carols are over, overall quite ok i would say. just that i ain't properly warmed up for most of the sessions. rendevous hotel was great =))) but a little too stuffy at the lobby.

and also ................

thanks for the flowers, L****. haha shan't post the name here, might mislead people. but i'll definitely post the pictures up some days later =))) pretty flowers !!! i like haha.

mahjong-ed recently. you guys must be thinking, why i so busy still can mahjong. it is to improve my memory LOL !!! bullshit LOL !!! even if the world collapse, mahjong still come first =)))

jarrel lost alot man =(( i was winning like mad until the last pok. in the end win 4bucks nia >.<>

new year is coming. any resolutions ?? no, except for wishes haha. for people like me, make resolution is useless one, i have no determination to speak of LOL !!!

wishlist

1) for me and everyone around me to be happy and healthy.
2) for life to run smoothly unlike 2007.
3) to have some acheivement regardless of what aspect.
4) nintendo DS lite or PSP.
5) my electric piano or keyboard.
6) find true love ??? (maybe la ...)
7) to slim down *ahems*

that's all, tomorrow got project =(((( goodnight guys !!!

2007-12-26T21:48:00.001+08:00

sorry guys, am sooooo soooo busy now. might update around midnight time. don't stop visiting =)))) thankies !!!

2007-12-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

am here to wish all of you guys .........

MERRY X'MAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

now i'm still wondering why ................ why nobody say "NICE AND CUTE SONG YOU HAVE !!!!" nobody noticed such a cute lil song ??? muahaha !!! who got the mp3 file send me as x'mas present ok !!!!!!!!!!!

after thinking much today, silent thoughts la haha. i decided to keep my heart empty =ppp it's better to learn how to love yourself before you love someone yeah. if i don't meet the guy who i think really will love me, then i shan't let me heart and feelings be attached to anyone =))) besides, i'm a VERY super duper busy woman now LOL !!!

no matter is you* or YOU* (if you think it's you, then it's you =ppp), no one occupies my heart except for friends and family. <3 for =")))

once again ....

MERRY X'MAS TO ALL OF YOU DARLINGS !!! =ppp

2007-12-23T10:25:00.007+08:00

WARNING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS GONNA BE A DAMN LONG POST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK =))) BORE YOU TO DEATH !!!!

just as i though i had finished uploading photos then i came across this after work on the train. i was kinda lazy to stand all the way from dhoby ghaut to hougang so i took a rebound train to habour front then back to hougang.

look at the new trend of holding phones =)))

i pity the poor guy beside him. BAWU GAO GAO !!! MUAHAHA !!!!!!!!!

this was taken like 10years ago *just exaggerating. he's peter, who might soon be my colleague =)))

below are pictures taken at the 2e1 gathering. many are missing already =(((( so damn sad. i thought i save in computer liao but then can't find. BOOHOO !!!

I LOVE MY "DIAMOND" RING. thank *you =))))

my four years classmate whom i've mentioned, di liang =) love ya !!! been thru thick and thin. i'm missing those times now >.<

erm, i think this picture no need explain la huh. what a bad timing to gasp mishal, you are just helping mal to convey her message to my readers LOL !!!

the people i love =)))

ok lemme explain the below "few" pictures in a "few" sentences haha. i went out with michele on wednesday (i think) to start on our multiple intelligences project, which i thought was abit interesting yet abit stupid haha. then we began searching around about multiple intelligences, so naturally saw some stupid surveys and did them >.<>.< burger ="p">

sweet photo =)))

nice nice ??

below is some photos of michele zi-lianing on with my phone. she only gave me the nice nice ones, delete away the ugly ugly ones. knowing that she'll be featured in my posts LOL !!!

what do you think i'm doing ??? showing off my nails la haha !!

silky girl nail polish =))) very glossy, i like !!!

zarra drew this when we were doing project early in the morning at aljunied cresent's mac. reminds me of the tiko crazy peh i saw. forgot where's the mac then walk round and round in the rain and found out that it's just right in front of the road that i had to cross =.= stupid me muahaha.

wanted to ask vanessa down for dim sum instead of mac breakfast, but she flew down on her air plane that travels at 1km/hr LOL !!! but it was fun drawing silly stuff though i'm rather tired by then.

haha and zarra gave this to me. but i think i left it there, forgot to take it with me >.<

this was taken at jing's house after caroling on friday. i solved the cube !!! YEAH RIGHT !!!

it was so scary caroling there. patients are feeling unwell trying to take a nap but then we sing and disturb them like that haha. then the staff there like don't like us to block their way. >.<

the damn shiny christmas tree !!!

rushed down for caroling on saturday after work. i broke my own record, finished make up in just 5 mins !!! everyone was staring ok !!! and then ............

this little girl tugged her mother's sleeve and asked "mummy, that jie jie is xing niang zi ar?" xing niang zi meaning bride in chinese. i almost fainted ok. then i walked cutting through taka's ground floor to get to the tentage, everyone stared like i was crazy to wear gown to shoppin LMAO !!! i was with my bag then. dresscode was supposed to be casual but cause of damn raffles town club thing then change. and they didn't appreciate it at all, well .... nvm, shan't talk about it since i wasn't there.

went to cine together with the graduates to makan. though i'm very full at that point of time, i still ate >.<>

basically, it was untouched =((( waste my money. earn money very hard ok !!! LOL !!!

jing with her "tadpole" dessert haha. it was supposed to be a lame and funny photo but when the shutter snapped, she opened her BIG eyes. become like some ghost with black saliva LMAO !!!

work was stupid but funny today. for customer and cashier part i don't wanna elaborate la, cause u all don't understand also. but we were gossiping about the epson promoter that came on saturday. she pissed all of us so much that no one wanna talk to her. then ytd she called up the company and say we very unfriendly then she left at 7pm LOL !!! but she sold 5 printers ok !!! all snatch our customers one !!! fucking rude i tell you !!!

then last time all her ugly stories jessie told us LMAO !!! laughed like mad. then the cross section of epson's ink catridge became our triumph card MUAHAHA !!! hate her man !!!

today helped vincent sell about 4-5 printers then he help me sell one, thankies =)))) cannot blame la, my printer really damn hard to sell. that time i was closing another deal then he help me, so two deals at once, happy =))) but the cashiers just had to pour cold water LOL !!! but nvm, ka ching $$$$$ =))))

phew, finally finished blogging about my "oh-so-boring-and-lifeless" life. already summarized it already. wanna know more interesting stories, ask me irl, i'll tell ya =))))

2007-12-23T10:22:00.000+08:00

i'll be updating tonight !!! promise !!!!!!

have already uploaded all the photos but i'm running late for work. but then some photos are missing lor =( sadded !!! as long as tonight i don't feel very dead after work i will do up the post ok ?? meanwhile .... stay tuned =p

it's so hard to choose a readable color for this skin with its stupid background haha.

2007-12-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

OK !!!!!!!!!!!!

another advertisement at the busiest moment of my life, thanks nuffnang haha.

last time i stupid, ask people click click click, then i realise is pay by unique visits one =.= so now just pass by often ok ?? LOL !!!

i'll do a VERY VERY decent post hopefully on christmas night since no one has yet to date me out. so please VISIT often !!! make a trip on your net here for the next one week ok ?? thanks guys !!!

update soon (maybe even earlier than xmas if i have time)~~~

2007-12-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

i actually had the mood to post everything up and do a decent post after so long lor. but then one thing spoiled all my mood.....

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=fur_farm&Player=wm

this is not gonna be nice at all but just watch. i cried and cried la. OMG !!! how those fuckers even have the heart man. EFF THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(((

sit and fly aeroplane again a few days back. but then i can't really be bothered to get angry anymore, i think being happy is the best thing in the world.

right now, i just wish for a good sleep without nightmares. DAMN YOU STUPID FUCKERS !!!

2007-12-17T16:18:00.000+08:00

darn life sucks for me man haha. after a series of chiong-ing project, i gotta work, can't sleep in at all =((( boohoo !!!

work sucked too. for saturday, i only had my 1st sales at 8.30pm la !!! which was a relieve for me, but yesterday i got my first zero =((( shucks man !!!

today also can't sleep late cause vanessa and gang wanted to meet 9.30am at bugis, yes that early !!! then vanessa was the latest LOL !!! she was the one who said cannot be late one hor >.<

but today i was kinda brain dead, no ideas flowing at all, no information being registered too. but will meet them up at vanessa house on thursday, MAYBE =p

the next bad thing is my health. due to high consumption of stickies during work, i kept feeling feverish and flu-ish at home. then my stomach begins its weird games. eat abit then very bloated and lau $10.05 worth of shit LMAO !!! cause mac breakfast $4.85 and then shaker fries plus ice lemon tea $5.20 ma kua kua.

walked around with jamie, we two were like sian sian dunno what to do LOL. jamie's friend reach already then she kick me aside, haha. no la, i need to go back school. not wanting to lose my way, i had no choice but to take my most detested form of transport, the MRT !!!!

being the usual gan jiong spider i am, of course rush for seat la !!! carry laptop heavy leh, that reminds me of another bad thing, vanessa la !!! ask me bring laptop for nothing then the others nv bring haha.

ok back to my point. then i saw this seat at the last cabin with alot of people standing around la. then i was thinking, maybe i lucky that's why they reserved for me LOL !!! wa i sit down ar, i almost fainted. the man beside got SERIOUS MOUTH BAD MOUTH LA !!! then throughout the journey he was talking on his damn phone scolding different people about the same issue. everytime he hangs up on a call, i always hoped that it will be a last one, but no !!! why can't he just shut his bloody mouth up. so i took out my inhaler and just sniff sniff sniff haha. i love you inhaler !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the last bad thing is ........................... i finally not lazy to upload photos, then i forget bring cable to school =.= BEST AR !!!

ok choir practice !!! remember to come watch me carol ar !!! =)))

2007-12-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

okok, i'm still lazy to upload photos haha, cause i gotta sleep early today. YES because there's work tomorrow =((( i just woke up a few hours ago though.

although there's no photo to do any talking, but i'm here to bring an important piece of news !!!

i'll be caroling at a few different places this year unlike the past years only at le meridien. i've really practiced my notes hard enough, so must come support ok ?? jolynn will practice notes one leh !! haha.

the date and timing are as follows:

18th dec (tuesday) --> 12pm creative technology (some where in jurong)
--> 7.30pm at jurong point

20th dec (thursday) --> 8.30pm ngee ann city (it's downstair my workplace xp)

21st dec (friday) --> 1pm at AMK hospital (not sure if public allow to go watch)

22nd dec (saturday) --> 7.45pm raffles town club opp singapore don't know what girls' school de --> 9pm ngee ann city (i might not be performing at all on this day, but if i can make it for the 9pm slot, i will chiong down =))

23rd dec (sunday) --> 7pm at rendevous hotel (i'm not performing but still can go support them ok =p)

24th dec (monday) --> 7pm at rendevous hotel

25th dec (tuesday) --> 12pm at rendevous hotel

whoever comes on the 25th, considered that you made the effort to wake up early or stay up all night to come watch me perform, we'll spend the christmas together =))) actually is i lonely la, nobody want go out with me >.< LOL !!! =(((

ok that's it !!! important new updated, it's reporter jolynn chew report from hougang central =p

won't be updating for the whole of next week ba, i know my readership will go ocean deep again but i really can't afford to sacrifice my assignments anymore >.< will find time to update if i can =))) see ya guys !!!

2007-12-14T00:44:00.000+08:00

today's 2e1 gathering =) but i'm too lazy to upload the photos yet. was chionging 3 projects at one go la !!! so approximately, i have not been sleeping for about 36hours already =((( tml need to finish up FP and catch some good sleep if not work on weekends will definitely kill me.

it's nice meeting up after so long. seeing that everyone has grown more matured, and will always be there for each other. today, diliang told me "if anyone bullies you or makes you feel lousy in this world, it's ok, you still have us as your best friends."

awwwww, sweet right. 4 years of thick and thin, i really love my classmates =))) thinking back of those times, make me so touched when we stood up for one another when in trouble.

for those who turned up (weenee, li hui, mallory, gwendolyn, mishal, shi wei, joanna, di liang, eugene, guo qiang, shing rong, ronald, yu hong, hong wee, yi ming, gobi, nicholas, hopefully that's all if i nv forget), i love you guys all =)))) bowen classmates rock my life !!!!!

we shall keep to our promise, one year one gathering or even more =pppp

and next year we might do silly things like walking to suntec from marina like what we TRIED but failed to do just now haha. looking forward to the next outing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe by the next few gatherings, i'll be married already WAHAHAHA !!!!

<3<3

2007-12-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

yeah i'm not meeting him anymore. i won't be able to get in contact with him for at least 2-3 weeks or so ba. i don't know if this is a relieve or what. although deep in my heart, i wanna spend a lovely christmas just with him. but i should accept the fact that i mean nothing to him. =((( stop deluding yourself jolynn !!! nothing will happen between you two la !!! bodoh !!

why i sound so evil or whatever is actually because of a dream. a beautiful, sweet yet horrible dream. half of me wish the dream come true, but half of me hope it will go away. the silly things i do in the dream. i wish i can do it, but then again, i'm not gonna do foolish stuff already.

perhaps after these weeks of his absence, i might grow to have my feelings fade for him. well, maybe that's a better way.

i'm just glad that i don't need to see him walk away anymore. because i might not be able to stop the urge from running over to hug him. so let this be an end to all my foolish thoughts.

goodbye to the silly jolynn =)

and of course, good luck to YOU* take care in army, esp your health alright ? be happy =)

2007-12-11T23:38:00.002+08:00

yeah maybe i overreacted towards this matter or what. i just hate it when my emotions get the better of me. one minute i'm so happy that i can tolerate any nonsense u give me, the other minute i can get so particular about everything.

though those were the things that i hated most which u did, but according to my normal self, i could have tolerated and give in, but at that moment i don't know why i just refused. i know u always made me felt worthless but i know i can take it one lor, but i don't understand the sudden outburst.

later on, something which i don't like happened again. which is people not replying msg-es, but i really had no more strength to cry nor get angry anymore. so i just asked my mum out for sushi. and i kept gorging myself like dunno what. sinful >.<

one of my favourite --> hana sushi

another favourite, hokkigai sashimi. amaebi just so-so la.

salmon didn't taste that nice today.

see they got sell shark !!! kiap u to death =.= no la it's salmon head.

red bean mochi's really nice =)

i asked mommy to order sake, she say waste money. so she went home after footing the bill while i stayed around with marie. waited for her to knock off, then slack and talked alot. kept "sticking" one after another. i really need to cut down la. went home and finished up the whole bottle of liquor, end up go toilet vomit out =.= i don't think u wanna see a photo of that.

but i just hope my eating disorder don't come back. i used to have it, either i eat alot or don't eat at all when i'm upset, stressed or whatever. i could sustain myself with 3 spoons of rice for one week last time. that time my mom brought me to psychologist =.= but that was 3 years ago. now almost everytime i eat i feel like vomiting, i don't know why, but i just hope it's not back la.

next few photos are just random crazy photos that i feel too lazy to caption. can stop here if u want.

i like this photo alot, i don't know why.

wa si bei lian hor !!

smoking in lecture hall ??

look closely !! am i smoking ?? no la, it's michele new cigarette pen =.= looks damn real lor.

act act, act somemore !!

yes that's how tired i am, those stupid eyebags and lousy complexion.

all i wish for now is to be happy and let nothing affect me. i don't wanna be depressed anymore, so even if u decide to treat me like this or ignore me any longer, i'll still be the happy girl i am. because i really don't wish people to say that i care for them on my own accord, not they want one. it really hurts and insults everything i try to do for them. if it's ain't appreciated, i'll take it back then.

so long as you feel comfortable with it, i'm ok =)))

YES JOLYNN SMILE !!! show the whole world that you are happy !!!

you are beautiful,
no matter what they say,
cause words can't bring you down ~~~ =)))))))))

2007-12-11T18:01:00.000+08:00

yes you are right. we need to cool down. i'll wait.

2007-12-11T17:12:00.001+08:00

i actually suppose to be happily chatting with u wherever we might go, but now i'm just stuck at home fighting back my tears for u. i made a prom to my mum not to shed a tear over u anymore, but it seems hard to control.

every now and then u appear in my life, everytime after u say u will nv be able to accept me. my uncle says it's fate that i can't escape, but i think otherwise, which is me pulling myself towards u. i foolishly tried once and again to adapt to your inconsistent presence although i know nothing's gonna come outta it.

like u said, i not even your gf or your wife, why am i so controlling. yes i'm just your friend, but does it give any one the right to break a promise and then just make a compromise and force people to think that we should give in ? is it because i'm just your friend, so u find no need to feel apologetic about it ? or is it because i mean less than a friend ? if it's her, will u react the same way ?

it's not like i wanna be emo you know, but every words u said just came down so hard right on my heart. every letter u said just make my heart wanna sink so much that i don't know what to say to u.

my attitude and temper sucks, but i'm already trying to control. maybe it's because u don't see the difference between the me last time and the me now. i hate people to fly aeroplane, that u already know. but these few times u did it, i didn't bear a grudge, but u repeat it time and again, and i don't understand why being angry is being ridiculous. because i don't mean a thing means i'm denied of the right to feel angry ? or what ? i really don't understand u. u said it's your char, and i have to accept it, but u also said we are just friends, so why is being your friend to difficult that i have to change my temper and everything but u need not ?

everytime we quarrel i just have to hang up on the phone halfway because it just hurts so much, so so much that i don't want u to hear me cry at all. i had to fight back my tears in front of the world. why do u treat others so diff as compared to me ? why am i like a spare tyre to u?

i understand u have a busy schedule as u are going to be enlisted soon, but i too have my project deadlines. someone who puts in effort need not complain or emphasize it at all. did i ever blame u for the meeting up causing me to burn midnight oil ?

so is it really me whom u are very unwilling to meet at all ? i'm really sad u know, for u to say all those things to me. u asked me if i wanted the whole day with u, i wanted to say yes, but i'm afraid even if u promised, i might just end up disappointed. u dunno how worthless u make me feel, having u not a care a lil bit more.

all i wanted just now was a "sorry, i'll meet u at 8pm instead to make it up ok?" u just had to rephrase your sentence. u know that somewhat u matter in my heart, as a girl, i just wanted this someone to show a lil more care and gentleness towards me. do u know ??

but all u did was to tell me when u are free and i'm supposed to follow your timeslot. if i can't u can only ask me what i want. why is this so ? yes, i'm stubborn, because u matter to me. i don't get stubborn over things that i don't care about. i don't know if u care, because u behave that stubborn too, or it's because u just don't wanna protect my feelings at all. i'm really hurt and saddened by what u say no matter was it intentional or not. because i really felt like i meant nothing at all but just a fool who is willing to do anything for u. stupid jolynn.

what do u have to treat me so ?

u said that no one asked me to buy anything for u, i can don't bother to care for you at all. so i can throw it away or whatever i wanna do with it, cause it doesn't mean anything to u at all. maybe it's just really how u feel in your heart that u didn't say out. maybe i should grant you your wish and burn it this christmas, so that by then everything between might come to an end, just like the ashes left.

i don't wanna cry anymore, i give up.

2007-12-10T12:12:00.000+08:00

WA CANNOT LA, just as when i decided not to watch "tattooist" already, my friend tell me say quite nice. and that's the only show she didn't find the ending dumb. I WANNA WATCH IT !!! who's gonna be my kaki ??

am having my tortoise lunch in the clubhouse now. no i'm not eating a tortoise for goodness sake.
most of my classmates have to chiong project but for me like nothing to do leh. maybe got project due i also dunno >.< CHOI ar !!!

clubhouse used to always have at least a few choir members at different times, so when i go up, no need scared nobody inside, but now i'm alone with two other people from dunno which cca, and i don't know them =(((

i'm taking 2 hours to finish a packet of rice =.=

2007-12-09T23:55:00.001+08:00

WOW !!!! sorry for the long hiatus. it's been a busy but meaningful week for me. have started work on saturday, and i sold 2 printers already =))) though not very good, but some of the staff there say already considered not bad cause my brand is more high end and for coporate usage, so very hard to sell. but i'm happy la =)))

of course having such deals, i can't forget to thank hian leng, my "shi fu" LOL !!! he's the one who taught me alot of things, if not i think in front of customer i will faint. though my business always kanna snatch by other popular brands, but it's ok la, they won by advertisement and pricing not quality LOL !!! self-consoling la. 2days --> 120bucks =))) $$ka-ching$$

but my feet definitely hurts like hell, i need at least 6 plasters a day. when i'm going home, MRT no seat i sure dulan one, so i always take train to habour front and rebound =p

ok la, enough of work, very stress lol. some of the photos i promised to publish =)))

lovely vivian =))) i find her quite photogenic. you'll never be able to guess her age =xxx

mouth open big big, still don't look unglam LOL !!!

my "AH PA" haha. he's a very nice guy, with all his funny expressions =)))

flirtacious ken. always ka jiao me. always asking ppl to be his gf LOL !!!

skipped school on thursday cause i was plainly to lazy to go for CD tutorial >.< woke up at 2-ish in the afternoon even though i slept at 8pm at night. you can see how tired i was =(((

lunch-ed with mommy first. wearing my favourite combi =)))

duwan take my face la, bad hair day and ugly fat face.

lunched at cartel, was rather a satisfying meal cause we were both famished then.

mushroom pasta =))) MINE !!!

that's mommy's fish and chicken combo. but she pushed most of the things to me to makan, damn full can !!!

later still need treat hian leng eat, no appetite la =(((

i reached cine damn damn early, so i saw a triangel doll, and i got it for someone, yet i don't feel like passing it to the someone =.= cause it's damn pretty that i wanna keep it for myself LOL !!!

hian leng finally reached half an hour later. stupid gong gong, forever late haha.

since our movie was starting at 7pm, and by the time he reached already 6.30pm, we decided to dine at hong kong cafe instead of mr bean.

ordered the same drink =)))

this pot of eel porridge is damn damn yummy !!! but too much to finish la.

i didn't really liked this, i don't know why.

the tart was so-so, can find better ones outside la, but i like those a lil sweet stuff =)))

the "oh-so-very-yummy-but-too-cold" thingy. we were rushing for movie, but when we started on the dessert it's already 7pm >.< so we kinda gulp it down, both of us brain freeze and shivered like mad LMAO !!

he was very hungry, can't tell from this face ??? scroll down.

haha proven ?? first dish was egg tarts and it could already make him so happy LMAO !!

putting the very yummy porridge in it my golden mouth LOL !!! not tempting la, don't have that talent to make ppl drool.

my turn to unglam =.=

next day had to go back to office to take brochures cause my outlet de brochure use up liao. wanted to ask jamie so many things, but she not around so nelcar met us instead. going to taka from tanjong pagar took us the whole hour =.= traffic jam like KI SIAO la !!!!!

saw pretty xmas tree over there <3<3 =)))

we shopped the whole day through, from bugis to chinatown. spent like many many hours hesitating my buys. hian leng's really patient man, can acc me whole day no complaints, still can give constructive comments haha.

when i tried this on, then i say tummy very big, he go put his hand on my tummy, damn paiseh can !!! we were like laughing at my poor tummy =.= yeah la, though he can say i fat, but he also fat what =ppp damn gao wei, tummy let people touch. it's time to lose weight man, then people touch also no scared. i think work might help, cause i'll be standing for the whole pathetic 8 damn hours.

though i don't look very slim here, but i love the cutting of the shirt =)))

our day ended in chinatown after buying shoes. slacked at mac then went home at 11-ish. was dead beat.

i saw this boy band at bugis holding their "qian chang hui". dunno who they were, so just join in the crowd haha. call dunno what "si shao", never hear before. but their song very nice, better than fei lun hai i think, though not as handsome as fei lun hai. worth supporting =))

next few pictures not very nice, don't want to see then can click "x" le, cause not much worth reading de things below.

stupid colleague go take ugly picture of me when i sleeping in the train. OH YA !! talk about colleague, there was a part time promoter who reported work on the same day and time as me. and he stays opposite me only =pp but he's not the evil one who took this photo la.

see my face below, got sales damn happy. then the last photo is when no sales LMAO !!!

WOW damn damn long post. i need to chiong project now !!! so many things to do, so little time to spend. so i can't miss him,no time at all, VERY GOOD =)))

2007-12-05T20:16:00.000+08:00

jolynn is little bit sad today .... should be very sad but jolynn wants to reinstill the peace in her life which she had before. may it hurt so much inside, she just hopes that the lively and strong outer side of her can be rebuild again. as for the reason of her sadness, she think it's not anything new already. be it happening another 1000times, it still just hurt as much. since it's already so painful, she guess a few more things of the same kind happen again, it doesn't make much difference =) so live life with a smile, everything'll be ok !!! =p

jolynn you can do it !!!
you will not suffer in the agony of love !!
gambatte neh !!!!

went back to suki for lunch today. chit chat with them =))) so much of jokes and fun, suddenly i begin to miss all of my other friends there. ken still come and tease me, ask me be his gf (joking one la). he wants my number so i gave 91634455, and he really called o.0 god knows who answered LOL !!!!

am lazy to upload photos. but at least the day ends early and well for me. am gonna turn in early today although i have no intentions to go school tomorrow. goodnight peeps, she's tired of this life.

2007-12-04T21:39:00.001+08:00

like i said, something interesting happened. there was attachment this morning, so sleepily i walked to the center opposite my house. saw wilson (void decker) running for this bus, well he stays opp me. smiled to myself and continued my lazy footsteps to the center. at the door, i heard this child crying and crying, he/she is a K2 child, i haven't taken their class yet so i don't know who la.

then i heard the teacher shouted "alex goh wei jun, you better stop crying !!!" at that point of time, i went o.0'' so qiao ar. i come here attachment so long also never found out about this name, what a bad way to remind me of things. so we sat down and watch morning tv, and this child kept sticking to me. at that point of time i still thought that the child is a girl. closely i looked at "him", "her" features are so alike, wide eye boners, and average sized eyes, with a nose that a little more pointed than him, and the upper lips that form a wide inverted "v" shape when half opened. dark skin and big hands. of course i didn't think so much la, "she" was just a kid.

heard from the teachers that "she" is very naughty and mischievious yet smart. but hates to do homework and still suffering from separation anxiety though "she's" already 6 years old. so alike that i can't help linking "her" to him. "she" kept shoulder length hair with straight fringe covering the brows, that's why i thought "she's" a girl. of course it was during bath time that i found out that "she" is actually a boy. LMAO !!! all the more qiao la, but i never emo today, maybe just abit.

i had to feed him his lunch and pat him to sleep before i could go, cause i guess his teacher is too fierce then he very scared LOL !!!! i think the teacher really damn damn too fierce to the children le la. think of it now, i find it so coincidental and funny.

found out from weenee that he has a brother. hmmm, i really don't know him much. but i don't wanna know too much >.< the more you know, the harder it is to forget. ignorance is bliss ~~~

reached school darn early so i went to clubhouse to slack. it's a good thing that i went if not i'll just assume that there's no meeting/interview today and just go home after lecture. thank god, joseph asked me about it haha. interview was weird la.

lecture was stressful for me and michele cause we were there rushing for tomorrow's test preparation. but i guess it's too last minute la, hopefully everything will be ok tomorrow. even if the topic chosen is not what we had prepared, i just hope even at the last second, we can think of good questions for the dialouge to flow. *prays

i was hungry halfway through lecture, so i sneaked out and got this =))) bought 6 for 7.50 bucks.

i ate 2 and a half, while the other half jamie and michele shared. then i finished the almond one. the other two, wee nee ate it at clubhouse =))) that's lunch for me, it's damn filling, or maybe my appetite's bad.

"paying attention"

boring lectures. but today's lecture still ok la, can understand.

michele's graffiti.

my secondary school...... =.=

went to alumni's pool with the choir people. joseph and jia bao tried to study there =.= in the hot sun, i watched the swim cause i can't swim =( time of the month la, plus i never bring extra clothes.

they say this cloud look like a shoe LOL !!! but i just can't figure it out.

look like some neighbourhood center like that.

i think this is beautiful.

weenee and evelyn, soaking in the pool.

jia bao and teng qing, lazing around .....

i spotted bruce almighty no.2 LOL !!!

had cup noodles for dinner outside cheers with shar and my used-to-be assistant, kenny. seems like i've been eating alot of instant stuff huh.

i've decided to clip up my hair sometimes so that it looks neater. but some how i don't think it suits me, comments anyone ??

2007-12-04T13:42:00.001+08:00

got this from bing's website, so cute !!! muahaha !!! i'm MEW !!! =ppp will blog later.some funny things happened >.<

2007-12-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

i know i said that i won't blog for the time being, but i also said it might just be an empty statement so here i am.

i never felt that terrible until dreaming that nightmare. i can't get to sleep now, i feel like breaking now ............. boy why is this so ?? why is all this happening ?? why can't you see me when i'm just standing right in front of you. i'm invisible.

2007-12-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

after so much of writing to clear things up, there's of course one thing that i might feel upset about.
i sincerely wanted to make friends, but my friend might not want, but the thing is it seems like she took this out and made fun of it. it isn't really her to blame but me for my one-sided willingness. we might not be good friends, but i think i can understand why you don't tell me right in my face but wait till behind. cause at that point of time, even if you say it, you have no guarantee that i'll accept it.

but i guess this whatever friendship i thought i had never existed, so it's ok than losing it if i had it. well i don't know where to start changing, but i'll find a way.

of course i'm unhappy about being called a ***** by someone whom i don't know and didn't offend. but i guess sheryl already told us to stop, so no point getting upset about this.

perhaps this was why i'm feeling moody in the evening, because something like that was going to happen. maybe my intuitions ?? hopefully i can straighten out my thoughts soon and begin smiling again.

i shall abondon this for a tiny lil while unless i need to rant. i don't know if i can keep to this sentence, because i always end up blogging very soon again. but as far as i'm concern, my assignments need more attention than this.

take care guys.

2007-12-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

as for all who knows me long enough, when i'm angry, i write without thinking. yes i write irresponsibly, that i 100% admit. after i not angry, i read also think i stupid.

yes my ego is very high, i always think i'm right, but i don't know how many times when people prove me wrong i will reject one. if you clearly point out to me and show me, i think i will diam diam one. so next time, just do it to me.

i have a bunch of really nice classmates who tolerated me for at least half a year, never did i know i disgusted them so much. although what sheryl said about me was harsh, but i can accept it cause i think i'm like that too. (i mean those things abt groupwork and idea.) but i really hope everyone of them can tell me what's wrong with me in the face and not wait until they can't tolerate and then pour it all out at once.

i'm not a very nice person to be with, but it's not that i don't wanna chg, it's because people often don't tell me where i've gone wrong until it's too late. when i start to blacken my face, people will just return me a similar face, and i will just think that they are in the wrong too, have anyone woke me up from my black face and talk to me abt it ??

if the whole class were to turn their backs on me, i wouldn't blame them because it isn't their fault in the first place. all these months, i haven't really been myself in class. i can sense that people don't like me, but i don't know why. i often portray myself as very defensive, so that people can't touch me at all, just because i don't know why they don't like me.

on a lighter note, i might wanna thank sheryl for those harsh yet meaningful comments. yes i will change from there.

but there's a few things i might wanna clarify too.

as for your brother, i know it's very mean to say he's not handsome. but who will say that "eh my ex bf is damn shuai." if you ask your brother he should know that i nv look down on him cause of his birthmark lor. (in fact i never ever thought he was ugly, to me he's avg.) i agree that first few months after we break, i was still very dependent on him. but after i sensed that he wasn't quite willing to send me home, all this stopped for many months already, so why are you bringing it up ??

play mahjong thing, they all also know. say say abit, next round sua already. why take come out say ?? somemore, is not only i will comment about such thing what. your brother and his friends sometimes also will say say ma, i also not really angry. plus i never said i was pretty.

about the copycat thing. yes i have quite a number of items that u all have, but it's because i really like them too, not because i wanna copy people. the grey cardigan wasn't bought because to copy you, but because i like it. zarra was there, she told me you have it, but she say nvm, just don't wear it at the same time, which unfortunately was what that happened. and it was a different shade of grey, i didn't purposely buy the same thing as you lor.

the hello kitty bag, after i buy then i see yours then i rmb lor, i dunno why i should rmb everything that you have and purposely go buy it. butterfly slippers i bought it just after i know you and i didn't know u have it too. necklace, i don't know which necklace you are talking about. but as far as i know, so far i never wear same necklace as you before.

if you think i purposely buy that wallet, pris can vouch for it, i really thought is you what had the pouch. even in sms u also never tell me, until i buy liao in school then i know u have the wallet. if i wanna copy you, why i don't buy black, buy white color one ?? it's because i like it.

out of your many many clothes, i have 4-5 things similar as you, i know. and you often wear them, so u get angry i understand but i can promise you that things are not bought just because you have them too.

doing individual assignment during group work time i can swear to anyone that it's not about you. and i shall be damn open about this that i'm talking abt mei chan. she was writing her journal for half the time, that i think you saw it too. though i'm saying it now, it's just for clarification, not to blow things up again.

not to make things worse anymore. next time whatever i do, i ignore your idea or what, please kindly stop me and ask why, or rebutt me. perhaps i overlooked things. explain whatever unhappiness you have over me, make me wake up, i will accept it.

same for the rest of 1a01, anything just tell me. even if all of you were to end up scolding me in my face until i cry, just say. as long as after you guys say it, you feel better and the atmosphere no need to accumulate tension. as long as after scolding, no grudges are beared, i think that's the best. if not it seems like it's always me complaining only.

i am a person who doesn't even know how to step brake when the time comes. so i often do things that are very unnecessary like how i always blabber nonsense. even if none of you wanna forgive me, i will still do what i say to sheryl, which is to try to change. i don't know how much i can change, but i'll still try.

although sheryl does not accept it, but this is for anyone who accepts it, sorry.

2007-12-03T17:44:00.000+08:00

just as i thought endless story was the best song with me, i found this song by martina mcbride. i found my world LOL !!! i rare that i put lyrics of songs on my blog. so do take time a read thru, it means alot to me =)))

HOW FAR
Martina McBride

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end

[Chorus:]
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

[Chorus]
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
Yeah I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
how far

within such a short time, i discovered the change in me, i could actually talk so much to a stranger out of nowhere. and even share some personal stuff that i don't tell my friend. is this a sign of emptiness, where you seek shelter in just anyone who offers it to you ? how different will it be if i didn't meet that "him". will i still be like that ?? i hope my heart can settle and not float anywhere now. i should stay single, cause of the unrest in my heart.

well .... at least i have my darling assignments to acc me =.= good luck to my classmates who are mugging hard for their assignments now too. i know this semester is a tough and boring one, but it'll be over quite soon. we will pull through together !! =) gambatte neh !!! let us all pass with flying colors !!!

2007-12-03T02:22:00.000+08:00

alot of posts today i know LOL !!!

changed template and blog song, hope you guys like it better than the previous one.

main reason why i chose this song because when i listened to it on the bus just now, i kind of thought that it suits my mood now. i don't understand jap, but it's him who taught me to feel a song with my heart. i might have got the wrong meaning, but as long as i feel it, it's ok =)))

stay tuned to my boring life =p

2007-12-02T23:31:00.001+08:00

was very emo the whole day. crying and crying, though not non-stop but in about half an hour basis. everytime i close my eyes i see him smiling at her sweetly. the smile that i may never get from him. so gentle so sweet. it just pierce through my heart making me wanna cry all over again

think this is the 4th post about him already, you guys must be getting sick of my rantings.

on a happier note, the only thing i lose to was time, cause i appeared later. well, that's consoling myself haha. might be going out with him one of this weekdays, i hope so. just wanna spend more time with him before he goes into army.

was at aunty's house as i mentioned just now. this is what my silly mommy did.

thinking that i wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, she tried to capture some unglam images of me watching tv with my legs up on the chair.

this one still ok la, so i let her take LOL !!!!

she getting closer, so i purposely cross one leg for her to see .... =p

when she was near i started laughing like siao char bor, cause the show very funny. and lucky her, caught this photo =.=

just as she thought got uglier ones, i turned and smiled at her haha. scared the shits outta her LOL !!!

photos below are to be viewed at own risk. they are either emo or retarded.

my beloved anna sui wallet =)))

so this is how i always stand ????

on the way home, my mum talked about him and i suddenly just broke down. shit man, i hate that feeling. she told me i deserve better but i didn't really do much to deserve anything la. i'm just a bad tempered, selfish, tempremental and impatient lil girl. it's just that i'm very devoted in relationships. well, i guess it can't be helped.

for him to feel better, i just have to forget him. i don't wanna put any pressure on him to make things worse for us. we will just be friends, yes we will =)

i shall walk away,
it's up to you to say,
how far ...............

one day, i'll miss you forever.

everytime i look into your eyes, i fall in love with you over and over again.

2007-12-02T16:20:00.000+08:00

woke up today and it felt like i just had a very bad dream that's all. i'm not sure if i'm gonna be okay for very long, but i guess i should just take it a step at a time. anyway, i'm also wrong for not giving anyone enough time.

mum says i deserve more though i'm just an impatient bad tempered lil girl =) cute lil mommy lol. i do talk to her abit about such stuff, then she will say, if i continue to be so pampered, no one will want me LOL !!! i shall get married at the age of 22 !!! wahaha.

talked to him abit on msn and on sms. yeap now it feels like we are just friends. perhaps he just gimme the feeling to care and take care of him like a friend. so whenever he's upset i will just be there to listen out, don't wanna expect more. perhaps this is already the best i can do for him.

seems like everytime after a heartbreak or emotional upsot, there's bound to be some family gathering or what. cause i have to go to aunty's house for dinner later, dunno is it my mum gao de gui LOL !!!

yes i will be happy because wednesday's prob the last time i saw him, or going to see him. no choir practice until the 17th, he's going army on the 14th, so there ain't any chance i might bump into him or meet him. good for him and good for me too. but one thing, no choir suddenly like nothing to do leh.

so friends, do call me out when you have time ok !! if you wanna get a printer, FIND me !!!! haha. it feels great to be able to smile again.

i will like to thank kian siong for enlightening me and making realise the blindness i was in. even though this problem does not lies me with, but i think one shouldn't be too stubborn about a thing, it just makes you more miserable.

xiao4 yi2 xiao4, she3 me4 shi4 dou1 OK =))) !!!!

i see you waving goodbye to me,
so i shall smile and let you go.
i miss that time when you held my hand,
it's a memory in my heart.

2007-12-02T01:54:00.000+08:00

this is the second post about him, but i hope it's the last post. maybe after he goes into army, i will gradually erase off the memories i have of him. maybe i'll get a boyfriend whom i will marry in 3 years before he gets out of army. MAYBE.

i seriously don't know why i was so vulgar just now but i really felt like scolding him for no rhyme or reason.

i really feel betrayed and cheated of my feelings. like what my friend wanna tell him "get your feelings and heart cleared of the past before even spewing honey words out of your mouth." quite true. friend said maybe i can help him forget his past.

what bullshit man. he doesn't feel a nut peanut stupid thing for me. and yes, i only get to know until now, because his lies are too convincing.

then my friend asked me if i have fallen for his honeyed words or him.

i would say 40% for him, 60% honeyed words. so i guess it isn't that hard to forget afterall.

then friend told me it's not a problem with me but him. get him to straighten his thoughts and think what he wanna do then decide, which actually he already decided to give up on me. cause i'm that lousy i know.

i don't know how to do the above when it's he himself refusing to open his heart to everyone except for his perfect glass.

or rather, i don't wish to do it anymore because it will just seem like i'm desperate for him and i can't live without him. plus, i don't want to be reminded of the memories and he might not appreciate me buzzing around him.

so off he goes, and i make my own way out of his heart. i give up.

Last night when i closed my eyes, the first person i saw was you.
why did you cause such a big impact in my life?

2007-12-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

i read something perhaps i wish i have never read. yes it hurts but i doubt that there's anything that can lessen the pain. after the first few arguements, i should have been clever enough to know that we'll never be together, but i was just plainly dumb enough to deceive myself.

so just saying sorry, and that you should have done this or do that in the first place will help is it ?? this all the more goes to show how much i matter to you. all you think of is yourself, how to forget your precious glass. do you even have some consideration about what will happen if this fails ?? how much more hurt it will cause ?? so by saying all this i should forgive you ?? let you be irresponsible after cheating people of their feelings ?? wipe your backside and go ??

but then again, what harm can i bear to do to you ?? blame me for being soft-hearted, gullible and stupid then. maybe i should be like you, do the freaking thing called CLOSE UP MY HEART TO MYSELF, MY OWN GLAMOUROUS SKY !!!

i have never wished that he becomes my boyfriend, and i never expected him to like me more than i like him. but i just don't understand why does he hint to me things that made me feel that i still have a little space in his heart when he doesn't like me at all ?? why can he say it out so naturally ?? why do you have to lie to me all along !!!

i never hoped for more, but just to be able to be close to you and to feel that i'm still a little special in your heart. i should have guessed it that i'm somebody whom you can even give a little space to when many times you didn't make decisions with me in regard. why am i so stupid to believe a guy the second time even after he said that he was trying to like me only. i should have just thrown him outta my heart at that time, WHY DID I FUCKING BELIEVE HIM AGAIN.

you told me your past won't affect you but it fucking did. maybe i'm just unlucky or what, to have to meet a guy who doesn't treat me like i'm worth even a cent.

you know boy .... i feel like giving you one tight slap. but i'm slapping myself now instead for liking someone like you. i know you hurt me deep, but i don't know where to start blaming you for making me fall in love with you.

i don't know what made me do all the stupid things for you, trying so hard to make you feel better. after meeting you, the girl who was pampered and never giving in was gone, i was totally lost. i had never said this to you because i thought you will never accept it, but i do love you.

though it may not be as deep as the ocean but it's enough for my heart to shatter. as from now on, perhaps i should just turn the love for you into hatred, so that forgetting might be easier.

i will never forget the msn conversation when you told me that someone has been long around but i just lost her. so can i tell you that i really hate the way you compared the present with your past.

even by just talking, one can fall in love with another, because it's about personality not about meeting up. how i wish i am the one who doesn't feel the chemistry instead of you.

i hate your guts for doing this to me, and hate me for not being who i am and stomple you to death. i hate your idiotness for not predicting this outcome before you led me on, and myself for believing you. i hate you, your past, your present, your memories, our memories, our empty future, everything !!!

so from now on, jolynn hates ****, don't ever fuccking remind me of this person again, if not please go fuck the wall.

though it sounds abit too much, but FUCK YOU, whoever you think you are.

go find your second perfect glass, it's not my loss but yours. as much as i don't wanna say it, but really FUCK YOU that somebody.

i need a break, when i can be like who i am last time, really be emo in front of others when i am. but now, i can just put up a strong front only. i don't know what to feel, angry, disappointed, upset, depressed, heartbroken, deceived or what. perhaps a mixture of all. but i definitely hate things the way they are now.

sad to say, for the past few weeks, actually sometimes i don't feel like being bothered about him. in fact, sometimes i treat him like someone very unimportant, for this is how he treats me sometimes. i'm too scared of falling in love. well, since i can do it last time, i can do it now. let's throw him aside like what i used to be able to do. =)

count to ten,
and everything will be ok ......
i know .......

2007-12-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of my advertisement. or rather, last hour le !! whoever comes here before it's removed, please bang yi ge mang !!! click click !!! let me earn a few more cents, don't be lazy =pppp

friday before choir, choir people were slacking in the club house watching "little britain". choir started at 5.30pm instead of 6pm usually, i don't know why but that's not the point. the club house had a revamp not long ago, actually not a revamp la, just rearranging of the furniture. it looks so much cleaner and spacious now.

when i walked in the room, i saw this person from behind. guess is he/she a girl or a boy ???

girl ??? think again.....

actually he's the tall, big and handsome guy in our choir, curtis =))) haha.

all thanks to jing yi that his hair become like that.

mahjong-ed today !!! =p YAYNESS !! haha, probably my last mahjong session before i start my weekend job, my fingers are gonna be soooooo itchy haha.

today was damn heng, actually lose 30plus bucks at first one, but then won 4 times 5tai tiles then recover the losses. met a new friend sherwin. sounds like a girl right, he says if is girl will spell like "sherwyne" really meh ?? i think the latter sounds more boyish than the first one haha.

first time play mahjong with him jiu "bao" him 5tai already lol !!! not very nice huh, but it's a pleasant "jian mian li" LOL !!! *evil grins*

i "kup" with mel, so when she play, a few rounds of her tiles were like shit, but some were really beautiful. see, her "xiao san yuan", almost like what i did last time lol !!!

pretty right ?? haha, i so love mahjong tiles. that's all i wanna say =))))

"sorry" ain't really the word i need or want to hear.
i think an explanation will do better, or maybe actions.
i got a feeling, you are trying so hard again.
if you don't like me, tell me.
i would very much appreciate that.

brand new

2007-11-30T22:59:00.001+08:00

2007-11-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

i don't understand why people just can't keep to their promises.

feng kai was late for dinner, so i couldn't take my medicine on time, that is still a small thing. it's just dinner in school.

but someone else had even better things to do to me.

firstly, i was talked to like i'm someone important to him. is it or not, only he himself know, i don't know. the words speak, but the action doesn't.

you can say you miss me a million times but will just do nothing to prove. in fact, you do things that contradict your words.

yes you have an injury, you are tired, moodless or whatever. but can you ever spare a thought for me ?? i didn't skip school thinking that i'll meet you tonight as your workplace is close to my school. you never go work, fine, can meet you later.

don't wanna come school find me, fine, i go back hougang meet you. and mind you, i was carrying my heavy bag, my laptop and a tiger toy given by alisa. i was down with heavy flu, fever and sore throat. my classmates for the past few days could see how unwell i was. but i still went to meet you.

i said i miss you, i meant it, i went the extra mile to find more time for you. but how about you ?? you don't appreciate it at all. do you think i feel better than you ??? if i were the one with the injury, i will still go down no matter what, cause i really miss you.

for you ?? i don't know if you said you miss me too because i said it first. was it just to patronise me or what ???

have you ever felt so worthless that you aren't important enough for someone to just find the energy to come out to meet you ???

i'm trying to give in, food wise, location wise. i know you were nice to do the meet ups with my shopping sellers with me, i really appreciated it. but do you appreciate the effort of me, struggling to go school, and left my friends to meet you like 100miles away instead of slacking at mac donalds ??

i rushed down afraid that i might make you wait, but all i received was a msg from you saying that you are not coming anymore, without any rhyme or reason. i had sooooo many reasons not to meet you, but did i use them ??? if i try so hard, are you willing to ?? if not, then don't speak like you do. i hate it.

if i'm still not that important, just tell me so, don't lead me on. i don't need anyone to try liking me, i can live on my own. i once gave up, but the way you lead me back on this road gave me strength again, and now you are just trying to help me convince myself more that i'm not anyone to you.

can i still believe you ?? after countless times of cancellation of meetings. do you really miss me that much ?? or just a call from your god daughter's parents can make you forget everything you say ???

before you say anything, please think clearly, i don't like empty words.

i shall not put anyone as important in my heart anymore, for they do not comply with the rules of the heart.

i hate the way you are treating me.

i cry no more, for my heart is dead.

let's see:
your name
do you smoke?
do you drink?
stronger drugs?
your favourite activity
you are	Oh, so sweet
you wish you were	Worshipped
you hope	It's not too late
people think you are	Evil
intelligent people though, think you are	The most wonderful thing nature's ever created
but, really, you're just	A good hearted thing

This cool quiz by apistrakus - Taken 168805 Times.